Parking lot humor

It hardly happens up here but I know it annoys people really bad.



The lady was a such a loser, she rather have us twoed for having out cars 5% in the street than hers which would be 95% in the street.



Always yelling about how we can't park there, it's a public street and she would park there. Sometimes you would just want to smack her on the back of the head and ask her "do you know what your saying lady, go get some and clam down you twit"



I never did that much though, the keys did the talking.
 
Here are a couple of parking lot stories about my grandma. It seems she wasn't very lucky with parking lots...



Both my grandma and my grandpa were fanatical about not parking next to a car that would give them a door ding. In fact, my grandpa refused to park next to any 2-door car, because the doors swung out further (this was in the 70's & 80's when 2-doors were really big!). Anyway, whenever grandma would go to the grocery store, she would always park way out in the lot, so no one would park next to her. One day she came out of the store just in time to see a loose shopping cart start a slow roll clear across the parking lot. Sure enough, it rolled and rolled and rolled, and rolled right into the side of her car! So much for parking "way out where it's safe."



Another time, grandma came to visit my parents, and they all went to a local 2nd hand store in grandma's car. My dad said that when he parked the car in the lot, there weren't any other cars there. Anyway, while they were in the shop, a guy and a bunch of little kids came in. When mom/dad/g-ma left the shop, they found that the guy had parked right next to grandma's car (note that these were the only two cars in the lot). Sure enough, one of the kids had opened their door into her car and left a ding.
 
Joed, its kind of hard to say that I wouldn't do the same as you if she did the same thing to my car and I had to walk that far at 3 a.m. Did you ever hear anything about her talking about her keyed vehicle or deflated tires. By the way, did you simply deflate them or cut them up a bit.



Oh and one more thing. Remind me to never park next to you. Laters
 
cool thread here!



My tools for revenge is a small squirt bottle with highly concentrated paint remover......squirt it all over car.....then, pepper spray the drivers door handle,....eventually they rub their eyes.....if ding is real bad.....tires all have to go too.



Reading this back to myself.....I think I need professional mental help!
 
Reminds me of a VW commercial. A cart goes rolling toward the Jetta and the guy runs and dives into the cart to save the Jetta. ::Crash:: "I'm ok" hahaha!



Ever try a blow torch to melt the valve stems? Those little blow torch things, like the size of a music cassette. Just an idea.



Jason
 
there was a runaway cart today in the parking lot of a pet store

I was driving right betweent he store front and the lot



i was driving in the heavy rain and wind with the wipers going pretty fast when I see this cart go right infront of me, scared the heck outtt me.



I couldn't look cause I knew it was going to hit something eventually, but it just missed me (I was driving towards it), I woulda cried if it would have been close enought to hit me. Man was it windy out today.





if someone were to ding me, i'd take out my emergency 80/20 towel, throw sand on their paint and give it a good rub, then i'd break out the CA waterblade and go nuts in full circular motions! then i'll splatter turtlewax all over thier paint and put cheap paste wax all over their black plastic trim and put endurance on their tires even though the tires are not clean.
 
I actually heard of a good one. You take the little caps off of the valve stems, and crazy glue a small ball bearing into each of them. When you screw them back on, they push on the little valve, thus releasing air. The funny part is, the person will fill up their tire and put the little cap back on, and it will go flat again causing them to think they have a small leak. It will take quite some time for them to figure it out.:D

-Ryan Eyres

1992 Alfa Romeo 164S
 
Fortunately most of us from the south have space and do not deal with the street parking and the crime of other parts of this wonderful country. I have lived in both environments (Boston) and can not comprehend ever going back to one of those combat zones in term of cars ownership and maintainance. Having someone park within inches of many car :eek: :eek: :eek:

It may be dead down here but I know my car is safe. :D
 
I lived in Atlanta for 4 years and there is nothing that would make me move back.I think that people who live in the big cities have alot more work to do to keep their ride clean.Glad to be in a smaller place:up
 
Hhehehe, so far my favorites are:



The golf tees

Steve's ideas

Ball bearing in valve stem

Grease on windshield



I guess I have one to add: Shaving cream! On a hot, dry sunny day, shaving cream on the paint can wreak havoc, it just bakes right in.



If I'm sitting in my car while one of my parents is in a store or something, and I see some careless looking person come pulling up, I get my key fob out of the ignition and lay my seat back and listen/feel for a thump of a door against my door with my finger on the 'panic' button, and let the alarm sit there and go on and on until the people freak out :D My poor truck has its share of parking lots scars :( A small keying-type mark on the passengers front door, but I'm not so sure that my dad didnt open it up against the metal mill. Then on the passengers rear quarter theres a door ding, it actually dented the metal in and theres either the other car's paint or my primer on there. Makes me wanna puke :mad:
 
I just reminded myself of the last time we went to Florida and went deep sea fishing. After we were all finished dumping our 5 gallon buckets of puke off the boat, we went out to our van in teh parking lot, and some oil rig worker or something parked his truck right behind the van. I mean RIGHT BEHIND it. And the way the van was parked, it was at teh edge of a small shelf type thing, and there was a really marshy area underneath a bridge right down form there, so we couldnt go forward or backward, and vehicles on both sides. Well, we told the owner of the fish shop the sitchy-ayshun as it was, and he called the boat taking the guys out to wherever they were going (it was like a barge or something they were on, really slow moving and hard to maneuver, chugging out across the way there, and he told them to get the guy out there to move his truck. Well, after inching forward, cutting the wheel, inching backward, cutting the wheel, inching forward again, etc., my dad was able to get the van out of there. So we went back in to the fish shop and told the owner that we got it and to tell them to forget it and go back to their job. He said "Dont worry about it, I'll let em all come in and he wont have to move his truck, so now they gotta double back, they do that to my customers all the time."



So we just left :D
 
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