Neighbor dispute turned "physical".. sort of. Advice?

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imported_truzoom

New member
OK I admit I'm one of those guys who actually takes care of his home, maintains his lawn, and just puts a lot of effort into upkeep. I mind my business, though, so it's not like I go around instigating trouble because someone doesn't mow their lawn or clean their gutters.



Anyway, a nearby house has been trouble since the day I moved in because the residents deliberately let their dogs roam around on my property and have many times brought their dogs over to #2 on my lawn. Let's just say they aren't the most classy people around. Reporting them to the city/animal control was supposed to be anonymous, but they figured out it was me anyway. Since then they've restrained themselves from using my property as a pet toilet, but tension is tension and it has always been there.



So tonight I did a little work on my vehicle and needed to leave. As I was heading out and passing by, the guy who lives there threw a blunt object at the front of my vehicle. I think it was a shoe or maybe a small piece of wood because of how it sounded. Luckily it hit the front bumper which has plenty of wear so not much harm done that can't be buffed out.



This is the first time it has been "physical". A few times in the past this same guy has been verbally abusive and such, but I just let it roll off. I'm a little hyped up since I wasn't expecting it, but fortunately it was a relatively minor thing to do in the greater scheme of things.



Should I still file a report with the police? My home has a video security system that kind of caught what happened, but night video is so grainy that you can only make out what happened if I narrate it second by second. It does show him walking out into the street to pick up the object after I leave. I'd rather not escalate things, but at the same time I want a record of what happened in case something happens in the future.
 
I hear you.

My good neighbors refer to me as "Walt Kolwolski", since I have two older, 70's Fords, and am single. (Gran Tornino)

My lawn is mowed before it get's tall, no weeds, my house and trim are painted, my shrubs are get up, etc.

No one messes with me, my cars or my property, and those who might, are not from the neighorhood, but the whole little town knows I am an old Marine, and I do thing right.

I know every cop in town, I drink with the mayor, so unlike you, I don't have to go through legal channels to get some results to my concerns.

Befriend the cops that cover your area, and with a little time, this thing will be resolved.

Grumpy
 
I would make sure you keep the video and be sure it has a date/time stamp; if things ever do escalate to the point where it becomes destruction of property you'll want to be able to establish a behavior pattern.



Not sure about a police report, might be worth it to call and talk to someone and see what they would advise you to do.
 
Ron Ketcham said:
I hear you.

My good neighbors refer to me as "Walt Kolwolski", since I have two older, 70's Fords, and am single. (Gran Tornino)

My lawn is mowed before it get's tall, no weeds, my house and trim are painted, my shrubs are get up, etc.

No one messes with me, my cars or my property, and those who might, are not from the neighorhood, but the whole little town knows I am an old Marine, and I do thing right.

I know every cop in town, I drink with the mayor, so unlike you, I don't have to go through legal channels to get some results to my concerns.

Befriend the cops that cover your area, and with a little time, this thing will be resolved.

Grumpy
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Since I'm younger than you and I'm Asian, can you take me under your wing like Thao? LOL.. that's a great movie, by the way. I do wish I was in your position.



Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm definitely keeping documentation, but I may give the PD a call tomorrow to see if I can file a report for my own purposes.
 
truzoom said:
Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm definitely keeping documentation, but I may give the PD a call tomorrow to see if I can file a report for my own purposes.
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Zoom, one of two things can happen:





  • You escalate the issue and your neighbor goes out of his way to make things worse
  • You ignore the neighbor and they ultimately direct their energies elsewhere
 
As Ron Ketcham alluded to, it pays to be LEO-friendly, to know and to get along with the local PD.



truzoom- I advise you to report it to the PD. Get a copy of the report (if only to make sure it really does get filed, ya never know and you don't want the LEOs just paying you lip-service).



You want to be on record in case things ever get truly ugly ("documented ongoing pattern of behavior") and you want to do it in a timely manner. You *don't* want to later wish you'd done so and then try to go back and bring up what's by then the distant past ("oh, and back in April 2012 he threw something at my car...").



Don't try to downplay it ("this is probably nothing...") but don't hype it up either ("I'm in fear for my life!"). Just explain that you're concerned and that you want to go about the whole thing in the right way.
 
I might would let him know he's on candid camera 24/7 (perhaps mention you are more wired up than a TV station). Mention you have the video of him throwing the object. At that point it can go either way, they'll either stop, or escalate. That sort of escalation is going to really let you know that they truly don't give a crap, and you are really going to have to get friendly with the police or move.



In the end, you have to figure out what you want to do. In the end, you have to live with these people next door, you aren't going to get them to move or be put away for any length of time.
 
I would drop off a copy of the video along with a 12 pack of their favorite beer and a note saying "This is my final peace offering. Any further incidents will have the security footage of all incidents turned over to the authorities."
 
I wouldn't tell them they're on video, I'd leave that sort of disclosure up to the cops. The only time I'd tell him such stuff is if he goes to get up close and personal-violent, when you pull out your phone so you can speed-dial the cops with pix/video of him doing it (gee, wanna commit assault on a live feed to the the police?).



I wouldn't give him a peace offering as to some people it'd be a sign of weakness and would detract from the impact of the "in the future..." threat, which might sound hollow.



Don't reward bad behavior and then warn him not to do more of it, he'll only process the first half of that.



I can just imagine the guy saying "I tossed my work boot at his shiny little car and he gave me a 12 pack..".
 
lyonsroar said:
My neighbor once asked me if she could stand on the hood of my car to put up Christmas lights...



:unrelated:
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FWIW, I've stood on the tailgate of my truck to do that before... but then it's actually designed to be stood on.
 
Accumulator said:
I wouldn't tell them they're on video, I'd leave that sort of disclosure up to the cops. The only time I'd tell him such stuff is if he goes to get up close and personal-violent, when you pull out your phone so you can speed-dial the cops with pix/video of him doing it (gee, wanna commit assault on a live feed to the the police?).



I wouldn't give him a peace offering as to some people it'd be a sign of weakness and would detract from the impact of the "in the future..." threat, which might sound hollow.



Don't reward bad behavior and then warn him not to do more of it, he'll only process the first half of that.



I can just imagine the guy saying "I tossed my work boot at his shiny little car and he gave me a 12 pack..".
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Here's the thing, if you don't make peace with him, and you start calling the cops left and right, he's going to be out of jail real soon and more pissed off. Jails don't hold people for long, even murderers. My point is prevent anything from happening. Another thing happening and calling the cops is a set of escalations in my book.



I've been in more minor disputes with neighbors, its ALWAYS lose-lose.
 
Yeh when girls need a lift I say, "Don't get a ladder, just put on a skirt and I'll lift you up" LoL



And that water thing all thing all the animals are photoshopped in there, haha, horrible sales pitch.
 
C. Charles Hahn said:
FWIW, I've stood on the tailgate of my truck to do that before... but then it's actually designed to be stood on.
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...it was my previous vehicle...a 2009 MazdaSpeed3. Haha.



She asked in all seriousness too which made me real mad. Also, I would want nothing at all to do with her in a skirt. Sweet Jesus tap dancing Christ no.
 
Dan- Always hard to say what to do in situations like these, just so many imponderables and we aren't there going through it first-hand.



My view is that, done right, getting the cops involved can make GoonOnFire an unattractive target. And can give him better legal standing if things ever get *real* serious as in "deadly force in defense of his life".



I can't see the guy getting arrested/jailed over this stuff, just warned off. If he's the kind who uses that as a springboard to seriously bad behavior then I'd expect him to eventually go there anyhow (and, I hope, suffer the consequences).



Our difference of opinion is good, GoonOnFire and think it over and have more food for thought whatever he decides to do.
 
Accumulator said:
Dan- Always hard to say what to do in situations like these, just so many imponderables and we aren't there going through it first-hand.



My view is that, done right, getting the cops involved can make GoonOnFire an unattractive target. And can give him better legal standing if things ever get *real* serious as in "deadly force in defense of his life".



I can't see the guy getting arrested/jailed over this stuff, just warned off. If he's the kind who uses that as a springboard to seriously bad behavior then I'd expect him to eventually go there anyhow (and, I hope, suffer the consequences).



Our difference of opinion is good, GoonOnFire and think it over and have more food for thought whatever he decides to do.
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To add to that, if he is that type of person, there's a good chance he already has a history and LEO will take your report more seriously.
 
Accumulator said:
Dan- Always hard to say what to do in situations like these, just so many imponderables and we aren't there going through it first-hand.



My view is that, done right, getting the cops involved can make GoonOnFire an unattractive target. And can give him better legal standing if things ever get *real* serious as in "deadly force in defense of his life".



I can't see the guy getting arrested/jailed over this stuff, just warned off. If he's the kind who uses that as a springboard to seriously bad behavior then I'd expect him to eventually go there anyhow (and, I hope, suffer the consequences).



Our difference of opinion is good, GoonOnFire and think it over and have more food for thought whatever he decides to do.
Click to expand...



Agreed, we're not there, there is always more to the story. I guess the point I was try to make things better before trying to make them worse.
 
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