Good Beginners Advertisment?
- Thread starter Buick_guy
- Start date
Looks pretty good.
Here is some constructive criticism:
Do you have a buffer for swirl and scratch removal? Do you clay the vehicle? If not, your exterior price might be pricey.
*I* would change a few of your sentences...
"Many go for the quickest and cheapest route, while I would much rather you have a very clean vehicle."
*I* would rephrase it to say, "Many go for the quickest and cheapest route, while I would much rather you have a properly cleaned vehicle."
"To reserve your appointment, or would just like some more information, pelase contact me at the number above. Again that number is (204) 224-****."
*I* would rephrase it to say, "To make an appointment or to receive more information, please contact Steven at (204) 224-****."
Here is some constructive criticism:
Do you have a buffer for swirl and scratch removal? Do you clay the vehicle? If not, your exterior price might be pricey.
*I* would change a few of your sentences...
"Many go for the quickest and cheapest route, while I would much rather you have a very clean vehicle."
*I* would rephrase it to say, "Many go for the quickest and cheapest route, while I would much rather you have a properly cleaned vehicle."
"To reserve your appointment, or would just like some more information, pelase contact me at the number above. Again that number is (204) 224-****."
*I* would rephrase it to say, "To make an appointment or to receive more information, please contact Steven at (204) 224-****."
Here are a few suggestions from my POV, so take it with a grain of salt
I would cut out the small paragraph because its almost a justification for why you're prices are a certain value. Your work should speak for itself and if someone calls you and starts to haggle with the price you established, they probably arent a customer you want anyways. I'd also chop the contact hours, if people are interested and get a professional answering machine they will leave a message. The most important thing is to follow up quickly, but still atleast they will probably think you're out detailing other cars. Also, as a persnickety customer if the burden is on me to get ahold of you, I'll go somewhere where people call me back and contact me. I don't want to have to hunt down the guy who is offereing a 'covenience' service. (ie. mobile) I'd remove the bonus training part (that should be complementary) but also you might want to use the free space that I suggested making for things like 'we come to your home or office' or 'ask about our maintenance plan specials' or we offer services directly tailored towards your needs, etc. etc.
Finally I'd run a spell check before you pay to get it copied, there are a few words misspelled.
I would cut out the small paragraph because its almost a justification for why you're prices are a certain value. Your work should speak for itself and if someone calls you and starts to haggle with the price you established, they probably arent a customer you want anyways. I'd also chop the contact hours, if people are interested and get a professional answering machine they will leave a message. The most important thing is to follow up quickly, but still atleast they will probably think you're out detailing other cars. Also, as a persnickety customer if the burden is on me to get ahold of you, I'll go somewhere where people call me back and contact me. I don't want to have to hunt down the guy who is offereing a 'covenience' service. (ie. mobile) I'd remove the bonus training part (that should be complementary) but also you might want to use the free space that I suggested making for things like 'we come to your home or office' or 'ask about our maintenance plan specials' or we offer services directly tailored towards your needs, etc. etc.
Finally I'd run a spell check before you pay to get it copied, there are a few words misspelled.
GoodnClean
New member
I agree with all the assessments here, I'd also drop "Summer" from the name and maybe add something about summer in your description, call it the "Summer package" or something. To me it sounds like you're doing this "for the summer" which IMHO makes you look less professional. I'd also drop the "DETAILING SERVICE" goind down the side. People don't like ads that look cluttered, they like to see space so say what you need to say as quickly as you can and as neatly as you can.
If you're going to keep the little blurb about your services thats fine but do it before the pricing. Pricing should come at the end.
Also if you're interested in a 1-800# I use www.workeasy.com its $20 a month and they'll record a professional message for you (or you can record your own) makes you look more professional and gives people somewhere to call that won't annoy you. I have my 800# pre-screen all my potential customers for me then I respond back. It'll email you the messages too, or transcribe them and fax them etc. Cool service for not a lot of $$.
I'd also punch up the name a little, think of something fun or just shorten it to "Steve's Mobile Auto Detail" or something.
If you're going to keep the little blurb about your services thats fine but do it before the pricing. Pricing should come at the end.
Also if you're interested in a 1-800# I use www.workeasy.com its $20 a month and they'll record a professional message for you (or you can record your own) makes you look more professional and gives people somewhere to call that won't annoy you. I have my 800# pre-screen all my potential customers for me then I respond back. It'll email you the messages too, or transcribe them and fax them etc. Cool service for not a lot of $$.
I'd also punch up the name a little, think of something fun or just shorten it to "Steve's Mobile Auto Detail" or something.
I dont think it really matters if your 15 or not. All that matters is that you do a good job. I would think that it would sound unprofessional if you told them your age over the phone or something. If they ask, it would be fine, but you shouldn't need to warn people. Ultimately its your decision.
I also like the added color on the ad. If you do decide to print it in black and white though, I would suggest printing it on colored paper.
I also like the added color on the ad. If you do decide to print it in black and white though, I would suggest printing it on colored paper.
Allright Buick_Guy.
I was going to congratulate you on finally getting a job - t'ill I saw your how old you are.
Don't mention your age or your place of business.
I don't think I would put the 'time estimates' in your price list.
Good luck and I am glad to see you taking the initiative.
I was going to congratulate you on finally getting a job - t'ill I saw your how old you are.
Don't mention your age or your place of business.
I don't think I would put the 'time estimates' in your price list.
Good luck and I am glad to see you taking the initiative.
Thomas Dekany
New member
I can't see it!
imported_Intel486
New member
I think it looks good for a first try. I always try to go with KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) for advertisment stuff. When people find stuff on their door or car they just glance at it usually. Make sure they can see what service you offer quickly and easily.
I think the photo is alright but you might want to try to find a crisper image.
I think the photo is alright but you might want to try to find a crisper image.
imported_Intel486
New member
Buick_guy said:
Just put a better quality photo there. Make it so you don't see as many pixels.
Also, don't have those sun glares on there.
Image is there just for decoration and to add some color to the flyer. No one is going to actually look at the picture and be like, "It looks like it's been detailed well. I think I'll hire him." Just make sure the flyer looks clean and professional.
I'm not sure what you're going to do about getting copies made but it is cheaper to go to a local professional printer. There is a place here that did 1000 phamplets for me, printed on both sides and folded for $60.
PhilStatic
New member
I wouldnt use the pic with the dirty blazer in the background lol. Looks good though.
the goes 500 bucks.