Gentle Thoughts for Today

black bart

black bart

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Gentle Thoughts for Today​





Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.'

If you think there is good in everybody, you
haven't met everybody.


If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.



 
I have some......

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
 
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