Touchless laser washes are horrible. Many of them have a higher concentration wash to compensate for the touchless aspect so that stuff on the outside of the car actually comes off. Because the chemicals are harsher, they are less safe for your paint and strip the wax. I've also never seen a touchless car wash that got the whole car clean or dried it properly.
I still wholeheartedly recommend having a detailer wash the car - I know in the Boston area (south of Boston, anyway) there are plenty of professional detailers that offer hand washes (myself included). I also don't think I'd be opposed to letting someone wash their car in my shop if they still paid me the regular amount.
BTW, BlkTaco05: A few weeks ago you asked me if I knew if a place called Buff n Stuff was still in business in Quincy - I said no at the time, but I was searching the yellow pages the other day and noticed they're still listed.