GearHead_1
Long Time Member
* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
* Life is sexually transmitted.
* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
* Health will feel stupid as they're lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
* Have you noticed since everyone has a camera in their cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
* In the 60's, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take drugs to make it normal.
* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangling things and drink whatever comes out?'
* In the same vein, who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, 'I think I'll eat the next thing that drops out of its butt!'
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
* Why does your Doctor leave the room while you get undressed when they are going to look at you when naked anyway?
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
* Life is sexually transmitted.
* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
* Health will feel stupid as they're lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
* Have you noticed since everyone has a camera in their cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
* In the 60's, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take drugs to make it normal.
* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangling things and drink whatever comes out?'
* In the same vein, who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, 'I think I'll eat the next thing that drops out of its butt!'
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
* Why does your Doctor leave the room while you get undressed when they are going to look at you when naked anyway?
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
