With much Sadness --
- Thread starter Stokdgs
- Start date
JustJesus
New member
Sorry to hear the news, Gearhead. My condolences, to you and your family.
GearHead_1
Long Time Member
A big thanks to each of you. This is a special group of people. I mean that in all sincerity. I very much appreciate my association with the members of and my time on this forum.
Anyone that really knew my family would have bet the farm that my mother would have preceded my father in getting to the next step. Mom’s had physical limitations for the past 4 decades but always had a sharp mind. Quite out of the blue about 3 or 4 months ago dementia began to set in on my sweet mother and it has been brutal. Such an ugly disease. This has required her to be in an assisted living memory care facility, she hated it and did not want to be there.
I built a home next to my parents about 15 years ago. I was most fortunate to be able to spend time with her and my father daily during their final years. Recently it got to the point where perhaps only 1 out of 5 days that she actually knew who I was. On any given day I could have been her brother Charles (he’s been gone 30 years), my father known as either Dick or Richard, her father, Roy (he’s been gone 20 years) or Nick. I’m smiling as I type this as my wife and I are still trying to figure out who Nick was.
To my knowledge she didn’t know a Nick or at least hasn’t associated with one in the past couple of decades.
It’s one thing to not have full use of your body but when you no longer have your mind, what do you have? She’s struggled but in so doing given me the opportunity to serve her. She’s stayed here almost 4 years longer than my Dad. Hers was a bitter/sweet release but I know that she is at peace. My family is.
I appreciate Stokdgs for his well wishes in starting this thread. He always has something positive to say. He and I are of the same belief. Dan expresses his thoughts well, as seen in a similar topic only recently. My belief is simple and it is that we are reunited with friends and family beyond this life. Given this belief, my Mom and Dad are no doubt renewing their relationship even as I type this. It must be a joyful reunion. I find great comfort in this.
Once again, thanks to each of you for taking the time to respond in this thread. It is most kind. This is a unique group.
Anyone that really knew my family would have bet the farm that my mother would have preceded my father in getting to the next step. Mom’s had physical limitations for the past 4 decades but always had a sharp mind. Quite out of the blue about 3 or 4 months ago dementia began to set in on my sweet mother and it has been brutal. Such an ugly disease. This has required her to be in an assisted living memory care facility, she hated it and did not want to be there.
I built a home next to my parents about 15 years ago. I was most fortunate to be able to spend time with her and my father daily during their final years. Recently it got to the point where perhaps only 1 out of 5 days that she actually knew who I was. On any given day I could have been her brother Charles (he’s been gone 30 years), my father known as either Dick or Richard, her father, Roy (he’s been gone 20 years) or Nick. I’m smiling as I type this as my wife and I are still trying to figure out who Nick was.
To my knowledge she didn’t know a Nick or at least hasn’t associated with one in the past couple of decades.It’s one thing to not have full use of your body but when you no longer have your mind, what do you have? She’s struggled but in so doing given me the opportunity to serve her. She’s stayed here almost 4 years longer than my Dad. Hers was a bitter/sweet release but I know that she is at peace. My family is.
I appreciate Stokdgs for his well wishes in starting this thread. He always has something positive to say. He and I are of the same belief. Dan expresses his thoughts well, as seen in a similar topic only recently. My belief is simple and it is that we are reunited with friends and family beyond this life. Given this belief, my Mom and Dad are no doubt renewing their relationship even as I type this. It must be a joyful reunion. I find great comfort in this.
Once again, thanks to each of you for taking the time to respond in this thread. It is most kind. This is a unique group.
Old Pirate
AMG Classic Car Detailing
Sincere condolences GH.
rlmccarty2000
Active member
Very sorry for your loss GearH.
Don
Darth Camaro 12/27/15
Sorry for your loss, prayers sent.
tropicsteve
New member
very saddened to hear about your loss and will be praying for you and your family...
Gearhead_1:
Sorry to hear of your mother`s passing. I appreciate your telling us about your mother`s dementia and the problems it presented to you. I applaud you for taking the care of your parents and living near them. And while I do not know your personally, it is obvious their lives have had and continue to have a profound effect on your character.
I know firsthand the effects that dementia have on a person and their family, having seen that happen to my wife`s grandfather on her mom`s side and then her mother herself later on. My wife`s mom would visit her father in the nursing home and, much like your experience, she became his wife or his mom. He would sometimes say very mean things to her, not recognizing her as his first-born daughter. It was disheartening, to say the least. I asked my mother-in-law why she continued to see her father in this way, especially since he no longer recognized her as his daughter. She said, "He may not know me as his daughter, but I still know he is my father." I never forgot those words. What she stated epitomizes the commandment to "Honor they father and thy mother" and that this commandment is just not something we do in our younger days under the care of our parents, but a life-long commitment to taking care of them as they took care of us. We went through much the same thing with my mother-in-law when her forgetfulness required her to be placed in a nursing home, and some days she did not recognize my wife as her own daughter.
So two things Geahead_1:
1) Thanks for honoring your father and mother and telling us about them. I know they both live on in your life and while you may be a genetic and biological extension of them, you are also a character-representation of them as well.
2) Thanks for being a super moderator in this forum. Being a long-time member of this forum and seeing its many changes and phases, this forum could not exist without your "discretionary judgment" to the subject matter and "links" to keeping this forum a (somewhat) open forum about detailing. As I have stated many times, my detailing passion and hobby has benefited greatly from and been enhanced by the many Autopians who take the time to post their experiences, opinions, and photos in this forum, and I am sure many other Autopians can echo this sentiment.
Sorry to hear of your mother`s passing. I appreciate your telling us about your mother`s dementia and the problems it presented to you. I applaud you for taking the care of your parents and living near them. And while I do not know your personally, it is obvious their lives have had and continue to have a profound effect on your character.
I know firsthand the effects that dementia have on a person and their family, having seen that happen to my wife`s grandfather on her mom`s side and then her mother herself later on. My wife`s mom would visit her father in the nursing home and, much like your experience, she became his wife or his mom. He would sometimes say very mean things to her, not recognizing her as his first-born daughter. It was disheartening, to say the least. I asked my mother-in-law why she continued to see her father in this way, especially since he no longer recognized her as his daughter. She said, "He may not know me as his daughter, but I still know he is my father." I never forgot those words. What she stated epitomizes the commandment to "Honor they father and thy mother" and that this commandment is just not something we do in our younger days under the care of our parents, but a life-long commitment to taking care of them as they took care of us. We went through much the same thing with my mother-in-law when her forgetfulness required her to be placed in a nursing home, and some days she did not recognize my wife as her own daughter.
So two things Geahead_1:
1) Thanks for honoring your father and mother and telling us about them. I know they both live on in your life and while you may be a genetic and biological extension of them, you are also a character-representation of them as well.
2) Thanks for being a super moderator in this forum. Being a long-time member of this forum and seeing its many changes and phases, this forum could not exist without your "discretionary judgment" to the subject matter and "links" to keeping this forum a (somewhat) open forum about detailing. As I have stated many times, my detailing passion and hobby has benefited greatly from and been enhanced by the many Autopians who take the time to post their experiences, opinions, and photos in this forum, and I am sure many other Autopians can echo this sentiment.
PA DETAILER
DETAILED TODAY?
My condolences to you and your family Gearhead.
Mike lambert
New member
Our sympathies to you and your family.