The Forum Family

GearHead_1 said:
If you`ve been on Autopia for any length of time, you probably have the same feeling that I have. You get to know members here even though you`ve never met them, it`s a family of sorts. That said, I`ll share this, I lost my Pop on Sunday. I`ve had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with him over the past 10 years and right now it`s like looking at a big donut sitting in front of me and all I can see is the hole. It`s been tough. I`ll miss my friend.
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Sorry for your loss Mark .. It`s great that you got to spend 10 years having an adult relationship with your dad and you were really able to get to know each other. RIP Praying for your family
 
I wish to thank all of you for the comments/condolences you have given. I built a home next to my parents about 10 years ago. My father and I have done our best to take care of my mom`s declining health during this time. Much of this experience did not flow smoothly, probably more bad time than good. She hasn`t been well for the past 2 decades but during this time has needed serious attention. It was just a given that if one of us wasn`t watching mom the other one was. She got to a point where she needed more real nursing than family can give. We moved her to a skilled nursing facility about 7 months ago. My father was able to take a breath and address some of his own needs. He had a knee replaced, the surgery and recovery of the knee went well but he just didn`t bounce back. Couldn`t catch his breath and had no energy. Through a myriad of tests, Dr. appointments, hospital stays and ER visits he was diagnosed with Interstitial Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF). I`ve spent the past 9 months now taking care of him. The Pulmonologist believes the cause of this condition to be a low dose of an antibiotic (doxycycolene) that his Dentist had him on for a period of about 2 years. He had a number of dental implants that were prone to infection. This is a VERY rare side effect. This diagnosis has no cure but he was expected to have between 3 and 5 years in front of him. He didn`t believe this based on the way he felt and said it would be a matter of months. If you don`t have a positive attitude the worst can happen quickly.

Mom has actually thrived in the nursing facility but about 10 days ago got sick, we took her to the ER and found out she had a bowel blockage. The decision was made to remove a portion of her bowel. Her surgery also went well but she is quite feeble and recovery for her has always been slow. She is recovering in the ICU. Dad got worse over the past 3 weeks and last Thursday we talked about going to the ER. He wanted to watch Olympic basketball but I told him we needed to go. I couldn`t get him to the car by myself. I asked him if I could get an ambulance and he would have nothing to do with it. I got a neighbor to help me get him in the car. I had only traveled about 6 blocks and he stopped breathing. I had to pull over and help him with a few chest compressions and slaps on the cheek while calling 911 to get an ambulance. I got him to breathe but it was faint. The ambulance got him to ER but his heart had stopped. They were able to get it going and actually got him stabilized. The doctors were optimistic, much more so than I was. He spent the next 4 days in ICU in the room next to my mom. They never knew the other one was there. It was spend some time with dad and shed a tear and then put a smile on your face and walk to the next room to encourage mom. They did all they could but he passed away about midnight Sunday.

At this point we had to tell my mother that dad was gone. She took the news much better than I expected but she is still struggling and by no means out of the woods. Anyone that knew our family situation would have bet the farm that mom would have left before dad. You can imagine that our worry now is that she`ll simply stop trying. She had a very challanging day today. She`s 83 and he was 85.

I`ve got most of the funeral plans taken care of but it is amazing all the things there are to think about. I know this is probably way more than most wanted to read but it has given me something to do while I sit here. I seem to have more time on my hands in the evenings the past couple of days. Thanks again to all of you.
 
I`m sorry for your loss. You appear to be holding yourself together better than I probably would in your shoes.

I`ll waste some spray wax tomorrow for you and your pops.

Some fancy new stuff :)

I also feel like a lot of you are my family.

Do some forum surfing to take your mind off things.

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk
 
I haven`t been around this place for a long time, but it is plain that it is so very close knit, and supportive.

I am so sorry for your loss, and for you having to go through what you have, and what you did, at the end of your father`s existence here.

Take solace in the fact that you did him proud - both your father, and your mother. This will not go unrewarded - not that that`s what`s on your mind now, of course, but with time, the good memories will surpass the loss, and there will be a time to smile again. I hope this comes for you sooner, rather than later.

Condolences, sincerely.
 
My condolences to you and your whole family, not easy ever to lose someone you love so dearly. If there is anything we can try to do for you let us know please, I dont know a lot here but what I`ve seen is we would try to do what we can to help out.
 
Extremely sorry to hear GH. I don`t know what it is like to lose a parent, but I have watched my wife lose one 2 months ago. I can`t imagine the feeling. We are all here for you buddy.
 
Sorry to hear. Glad you got to spend a lot of time with him and I am sure he loved being around you too. He did live a couple doors down from you right?
 
Gearhead,

Very sorry to read this and very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace during this time and prayers for your whole family. I dread that day and your post makes me do something I should be doing more often anyway - call my parents. Take care of you and yours.
 
Sorry for your loss, Gearhead. May your father live forever in the memories you have of him.
 
Gearhead_1:
My deepest sympathies and condolences on the loss of your father. I do find it heartfelt that you would reach out to your detailing "brothers and sisters" within this forum to confide and share your family story. When you`ve had great parents, such as I`ve had the privilege of being born to, it is difficult to see them grow old, and ultimately you know that one day they will pass away should you yourself live that long. The fact that you cared for them and lived in close proximity to them to do so speaks volumes about you as a person, and I can only imagine that your parents are very proud of you and are worthy of their saying, "This is my son."
There is little I can say that will console you. Having lost my father to complications from diabetes, I can relate to some of what you are experiencing, and yet, I cannot. Only you know what you experienced in growing with the development of that father-son relationship. It makes and defines us as to who we are. It gives meaning to the axiom, "Like father, like son." And that is the grieving part of this now- ended relationship as we knew it in this reality we call LIFE.

Keep and cherish those memories, and if you have family traditions that you did with your father, continue doing them with the next generation. They are an integral part of your family`s culture and show respect for and a continuance of your father`s character and spirit.

You are a blessed man to have a father like you had for the time that you did. I am sure he felt the same way about you, his son.
 
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