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  1. #16

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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    Quote Originally Posted by Liz@Autopia View Post
    Thanks Accumulator! One mistake I see him make, and it might be applicable to detailing as well, is to think that just because *some* parts of a job come super easy to you naturally, *all* parts of it should, and then when you bump up against something a little more difficult or that takes a little extra time/effort or requires you to learn a new skill or way of doing things, it can feel like failure just because you don`t see instant perfect results.
    Perfect examples of "that stuff you oughta learn while young". He`s sure not unusual for being that way Well, maybe he *is* unusual, in a good way, for findings ways to figure such stuff out now.
    A lot of the music stuff has always come as easily to my son as swimming is to a fish.
    That`s a truly great aptitude to be born with, but can also be double-edged sword. Just like how a *LOT* of highly intelligent people never learn good thinking skills because they can "get by" pretty OK by just leaning on their IQ.
    Some people`s brains just "speak" music, and he`s one of them.
    It`s wonderful that he not only *has* that gift, but has discovered it! Innate abilities like that are really something.

    Like it took him two months to learn and perfect a really awesome solo acoustic version of Stairway To Heaven and he was really down on himself that it took that long... it rattled him. Once he worked up the courage to play it in public at a local open mic night and the crowd was blown away, he finally realized that it really was awesome and nobody cared how long it took him to learn it.
    That`s a perfect learning experience IMO, something he can draw on for the rest of his life. Heh heh, I get a little chill just thinking about it

    I think sometimes we have to remind ourselves that even stuff we are really good at can be difficult or require a little something "extra" (skills, knowledge, grit and determination, or sometimes just plain old luck) to get through it, and that`s OK - it doesn`t mean we`re a failure or inadequate.
    Yes indeed! The exact *opposite* of being an inadequate failure IMO.

    Hey, this is one of those (many) Lessons I had to learn the hard way, and learned pretty late in life; my mother was one of those "only idiots had to study to get through Law School, it`s *nothing at all* unless you`re stupid" types and growing up with that gave me some...poor perspectives (e.g., no way was I gonna try Law School lest she think me an idiot just for studying).
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  2. #17
    dansautodetailing.com Stokdgs's Avatar
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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    Quote Originally Posted by Liz@Autopia View Post
    Thanks Accumulator! One mistake I see him make, and it might be applicable to detailing as well, is to think that just because *some* parts of a job come super easy to you naturally, *all* parts of it should, and then when you bump up against something a little more difficult or that takes a little extra time/effort or requires you to learn a new skill or way of doing things, it can feel like failure just because you don`t see instant perfect results.

    A lot of the music stuff has always come as easily to my son as swimming is to a fish. Some people`s brains just "speak" music, and he`s one of them. As he`s advanced though, he naturally takes on more challenging stuff and when it doesn`t come as easily as the "easy" stuff (easy to him being something that would still take me years to learn ), he takes it really hard and beats himself up about it.

    Like it took him two months to learn and perfect a really awesome solo acoustic version of Stairway To Heaven and he was really down on himself that it took that long. I told him that`s a super complicated song and there are people who have been trying to learn it for 20 years that still couldn`t do it as well as he does, but in his mind it should have come as easily as learning some basic three chord Jimmy Buffett song and when it didn`t, it rattled him. Once he worked up the courage to play it in public at a local open mic night and the crowd was blown away, he finally realized that it really was awesome and nobody cared how long it took him to learn it.

    I think sometimes we have to remind ourselves that even stuff we are really good at can be difficult or require a little something "extra" (skills, knowledge, grit and determination, or sometimes just plain old luck) to get through it, and that`s OK - it doesn`t mean we`re a failure or inadequate.
    Liz,
    Thank you so much for your posts about your boy.. He certainly sounds amazing ! I am so happy for him !

    I have always appreciated music, and been around many who were so good at it. Most of them came with that specific music "gene" or something and that surely helped a lot.

    I was lucky to go through school in Texas, way back when the Teachers came dressed in nice, modest, clothes, shirts with ties for the men, the kind of teachers that were respected by all..
    These teachers were also very, very, well educated, and you could tell, they loved what they did for us kids..

    One of the most influential teachers I met at my Jr. High Music Class (Middle School), was Jean Brown..
    She absolutely LOVED Music - All Music- and was very well schooled in how to sight read and play music..

    She took all of us on these wonderful tours of music masters from way, way, back, past the 12th Century, and then back to the most modern music going on in 1964..

    We listened to, and sang all that music from some of the great masters - Antonio Lucio Vivaldi, Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart, and so many others.. I absolutely Loved it !!!

    What I ultimately understood after those delightful 2 years of study with Jean Brown, was that for anyone to ever, ever, really, "get" music, one must study alot and learn how to read and write it correctly..
    There were no computers, no applications, no nothing back in the 12th century, and the music written then is still the most beautiful, complete, joy, even written in 8-part harmonies and more !

    And even reading books about these masters, and how they struggled and worked, and then the inspiration came, and it was all so beautiful when finished, is still a wonderful thing to learn about and even receive inspiration from today.

    I have personally loved singing, and have been in a zillion Church Choirs, etc., and it has always been such a treat to hear how all the 4 parts come together, and then with all the timing, accents, etc., are performed, and only then, does one actually "get" what the Composer got, and put to paper..

    Here is a little example of a music teacher and her class that shows how much more can be had when the music part is studied from the beginning -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrJiLifc5zQ

    Dan F
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  3. #18

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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    Quote Originally Posted by Stokdgs View Post
    I was lucky to go through school in Texas, way back when the Teachers came dressed in nice, modest, clothes, shirts with ties for the men, the kind of teachers that were respected by all..
    These teachers were also very, very, well educated, and you could tell, they loved what they did for us kids..
    That`s significant IMO, and you were indeed lucky! No surprise that you still remember the names of the teachers who made a diff. Or that they knew from the "look sharp, be sharp" mindset.

    These days, even Middle School can be a genuine warzone, with the adults just keeping those "kids" from seriously injuring each other..or the faculty/staff (that happens all the time in my area now). I know people working multiple min.-wage jobs just so their kids can go to safe schools, and my area isn`t remotely in the "high crime" category.

    There were no computers, no applications, no nothing back in the 12th century..
    When I think of the stuff that was produced, before we had any of the modern conveniences like...*erasers*...it just boggles my mind. Writing stuff with a quill pen...hundreds of pages with zero errors...wow. Even "casual letters" from back then blow my mind...the mental focus, the sheer *thinking* required!

    The appreciation you gained from those Music courses sure helped make your life work out OK, huh?
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  4. #19
    dansautodetailing.com Stokdgs's Avatar
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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    Quote Originally Posted by Accumulator View Post
    That`s significant IMO, and you were indeed lucky! No surprise that you still remember the names of the teachers who made a diff. Or that they knew from the "look sharp, be sharp" mindset.

    These days, even Middle School can be a genuine warzone, with the adults just keeping those "kids" from seriously injuring each other..or the faculty/staff (that happens all the time in my area now). I know people working multiple min.-wage jobs just so their kids can go to safe schools, and my area isn`t remotely in the "high crime" category.



    When I think of the stuff that was produced, before we had any of the modern conveniences like...*erasers*...it just boggles my mind. Writing stuff with a quill pen...hundreds of pages with zero errors...wow. Even "casual letters" from back then blow my mind...the mental focus, the sheer *thinking* required!

    The appreciation you gained from those Music courses sure helped make your life work out OK, huh?
    Mi Hermano !
    Here is hoping all is very good with you, your Sweetheart, and all the Familia !

    Yes, I was so Blessed to be there at that time in Dallas, Texas, for the 4 years my Dad attended S.M.U. And yes, he attended college "late", but when he decided he was going to serve as a Minister in the Methodist Church, he needed that degree, to better serve the people..

    And it really helped him, because he always got to serve where there was "No" Church, and with my dear Mother`s support, they went out and found people who were happy to learn about the Savior, and remember again, the Lord, their Grandparents talked about, etc..

    Then, they organized and ministered to, and eventually, there was enough of a congregation to start saving their tithes and offerings, so that a little piece of land could be purchased, and then much later, with everyone helping as much as they could, a little Church was built on that land and now there was a small, beacon of hope in a neighborhood where before there was only darkness..

    We moved all over Texas during our school years, and the only regret I ever had about that was that I never was in 1 place long enough to have those "forever" friends I hear many speak of; those kids they grew up with, went through all the schools with, and now some decades later, they still know and see each other often..

    But, I "did" learn a lot about building big things, how my Dad worked on, and with with all the contractors, etc., and somehow, with much Faith and many, many, Blessings, we saw many Churches raised, and left them with a great congregation, self sufficient, so that they could go on, and we moved on to the next blank slate..

    And another view of Jean Brown, Music Teacher, W.E. Greiner Jr. High, Dallas, Texas - She was young, very mature, had short, straight, dark hair, cut in the latest "Beatnik" style, and wore black glasses.. She dressed very well, never did anything wrong, and I could tell - we could all tell - her love of music was at that immeasurable depth forever.. She absolutely loved all things music, was very, very, organized, and had a "Plan" to insure we not only learned how to sing properly, read a little music along the way, and then go places in time, where the most beautiful music was ever written, sang, and played in the history of mankind !
    I have tried many times to find her and thank her again, but have not ever been able to make that connection.. I think she may be in her 80-90`s now, not exactly sure.. I hope I can sometime find her and would be so happy to drive the 2,000 miles one way to go see her and give her a hug and thank her for all she did for this little, poor, brown boy in the 60`s..

    Ref. the Masters - I am always amazed to think about how these incredible people first studied, and then worked so hard to compose note by note, the most beautiful music ever known !! And as you said, with nothing but quill pens and an ink bottle.. Yes, they were talented, some even at high genius level, but still all the work, to come up with these beautiful melodies, then take them places; write entire Operas in other languages than the traditional Italian (Mozart), and on and on.. Oh, and of course, write note for note, the music scores for each instrument, as well as the individual singing parts, and on and on.. I am sure much of this had to be inspired by Heaven..

    So, having grown up in a musical family to begin with, Church Choirs, the Music Classes, and then exposure to people older than me that for example played saxophone with the late Rahsaan Roland Kirk, growing up in California during the late 60`s on, and all that amazing music that came from some really talented people (who for a lot of them, knew how to read and write music), you would say that yes, Music certainly had a great affect on me and always brought me much joy, peace, and a good re-centering at times, when I needed just that !
    Dan F

  5. #20

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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    Stokdgs- I think it`s great how the (so positive!) influences from your younger years have helped you become the guy you are now. I see a lot of your father in you and I`m glad that`s a good thing.

    If at all possible, I`d try to track down Ms. Brown. I`m sure glad I expended the necessary resources to have my final contacts with some of the oldsters who`re no longer with us.

    Ref. the Masters - I am always amazed to think about how these incredible people first studied...
    Even the seemingly avant garde guys like Picasso were often classically trained; those innate abilities still benefited from the "same old training". Heh heh, and the "study first!" of course plays into how I approach Detailing

    And yeah...it really impresses me how so many people *learn an entire language* and study historical context so they can *really understand* things from another time/culture that just don`t resonate right when translated (e.g., anything Nietzsche wrote). No, I`ve never done that...to my detriment, I gotta rely on others, and you know how that can go
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  6. #21

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    Re: 🙈🙉🙊 Stagefright 🙈🙉🙊

    This thread is the perfect place to mention something I`ve found of critical importance: Self Talk.

    No, it`s not just New Agey feel-good Hoo-Ha. It`s dead-serious stuff, and it`s gotta be done right or it can literally kill you (usually after making your life miserable).

    The things we say to ourselves program our Subconscious. And the Subconscious never sleeps, never forgets, and it won`t be denied, even if it has to do its work "behind your back" without your knowledge.

    I always say that "the Subconscious is like a really smart Beauceron puppy." Because like a smart, powerful, and *fearless* dog, the Subconscious doesn`t process negations, and if it grows up *wrong* it can really get out of control and do damage; but if it`s raised..and that means if it`s TRAINED... *right* it can be your faithful guardian, servant, and companion, greatly enriching your life. When you tell a dog "You are *NOT* a good dog!" it really just hears "You are...a good dog!" The "not" just doesn`t register, not at all. The subconscious is the same way; if you tell yourself "Hey, I`m not stupid!", it records that as "Hey, I....*am*..stupid!" It always believes you, and it never forgets that you told it that..you program yourself for future failure, even if just a tiny little bit (which can add up over time). Maybe it won`t really manifest itself if you`re lucky, but most of the time it finds some way to bubble up and affect your "real life".

    So *never* talk to yourself that way. Just say *positive* things, even when you`re [ticked] off at yourself for making some mistake. "I`m a smart guy who`s gonna get this right the next time!" sounds *so* feel-good goofy that some of us have to pretty much force ourselves to think that way, let alone actually *tell ourselves* stuff like that on a conscious level. But it really does make a huge difference. And it gets easier the more often you do it.

    A simple change that I found a great starting point was to (literally) laugh at my mistakes, which is sure light-years away from how I was raised and from what seemed natural to me. For ages, whenever I did something wrong I literally stopped whatever I was doing and I forced myself to smile and laugh out loud no matter how minor/major the mistake was (sometimes while running for a bandage ). It was unnatural as all [expletive] for a long time, but eventually it became natural, then it became second-nature, and it has really made a huge difference in my life.

    Your Inner Life is *not* Marine boot camp. It has a different purpose and calls for different measures.

    There are plenty of other [individuals] in this world who will denigrate you (and the criticism of others, let alone ridiculing them, is a whole `nother topic of great importance when it comes to having a good life). There`s no need to add to that chorus by doing it yourself. All that negative [stuff] is counterproductive in the functional sense. All of it. No good ever comes of it long-term. But not going there isn`t always easy.

 

 
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