Yesterday I never felt so mixed up in my entire life. You have gone down in my history as the worst possible person ever to be involved with. After I wrote that message to you I was in total tears. I suppose I was confused, upset, angry, everything you can dream of. I spent the best part of the evening and night just crying my eyes out. You broke me down like no one has ever done. I have never been so hurt even by anyone quite like you ever. Even before I ever met John three years ago, my past boyfriend never had me in that state. To sum you up takes very little. How many years do you have over me? 10 -12?? what are u 42 years old, whatever i know you are older so why are u not wiser?? Yesterday, I was so drained of energy for an actual moment I even thought about taking an overdose, yes really. As stupid as that sounded straight after i thought about it, harming myself would have done no good to anyone, I have a child to think about. Why the hell should I inflect pain on her just because of you?. Who are y
After making love with John for the first time we have seen each other in over 11 days, we lay down and talked about nothing else but you, what a time for your name to be mentioned. I cracked in laughter just over how dumb I was to let myself get so down by you. Yes you were my close friend, but that was an obviously an illusion. You made me believe you were sincere. The way you have used me and the love of my life is beyond believe. I even still cant believe, but that`s history. But anger is not the way to go, as you know that`s against my nature, but in this instance I make an exception. It makes me wonder how you really treat Holly and your children, she is the only person I believe had genuine feelings, I don`t know. Did you force her to write to me on those occasions? I guess you did. But I have extinguished my admiration of her as well for the sake of moving on for my own life.
Yesterday, I had a lot of thoughts in my head, some were to inflict pain on you. I even hoped John would have taken your accusation against his business to his immediate superiors at Crewe. At least they have the power and the resources to fight a case for as long as it took irrelevant of cost. Even if you ended up winning, after the money you would have spent on legal fees what would be left of your business? I think only then would it have sinked into your small head just how much trouble a few words can make. But dragging your name in the mud would have been appropriate. Why bother, money? We certainly don`t need it, we have enough for the rest of our lives, as for you, you may not need it either. What it comes down to is morals, of which you have none. You may argue, but ont bother its not worth listening to the bull you have given me. The one thing that bugs me most is how you creeped up to me and really made out as you cared for me as a friend. That I will never, ever forget. That is why I hate you mos
For the time I have known you yes u did make me laugh, and gave me some happy times at the things you used to say in your messages. But that happiness was obviously fake, pretence, whatever you want to call it. A real friend would never think, let alone cause pain as you have inflicted. I just hope that one day someone close to you whether friend or family stabs you in the back unexpectedly like you have done to us both, and only then will you realise what it feels like to bet let down like that.
We are not changing our holiday pland and still are due in the States for our anniversary. We still will be visiting Coronado, why should we change our plans because of you? You dont control the world! But at least we dont have to look at your face when we are their.
Don`t ever bother to contact me or my husband again it will be a wasted effort. We are having all our personal and work emails filtered to stop emails coming from the States & Canada. I also believe John gave you my mobile number, that`s pointless to use, feel free if you want but its no use, as I am having a new phone. Neither of us wants to waste our lives on you again. You are not worth the time of day. From this minute forth you and the others don`t exist. We are moving on with our life, you do the same.
And a tip worth remembering, never take things for graunted.
Have a happy life
Steph
