Humor Me...

**GearHead_1** · 10-05-2011, 08:14 PM

Our ranchers and farmers need a round of applause.

I know a feller that won a million dollars in the lottery. A reporter asked him what he would do with the winnings. He said, "Oh, I`ll probably just keep on ranchin` `til it`s gone.."

Here`s another one.

The Louisiana Department of Labor, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

GOV`T AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".

RANCHER: " Well, there`s my hired hand who`s been with me for three years. I pay him $250.00 a week plus free room and board.

Then, there`s the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90%
of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 a week, pays his own room and board,
and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so
he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife
ocassionally".

GOV`T. AGENT: "AHH HAA! That`s the guy I want to talk to -
the mentally challenged one".

RANCHER: "That would be me".

**mikenap** · 10-05-2011, 08:19 PM

Good one! Should have seen it coming, actually.

**Mr. Clean** · 10-05-2011, 08:43 PM

x both thumbs!

Might I add one....

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . . On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher`s big Santa Gertrudis bull . . . . . .

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he`ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The rancher runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs . . . . .

"Your Badge, show him your Badge!"

**GearHead_1** · 10-05-2011, 08:55 PM

Great one, Mr. Clean! Best one of the bunch.

**Mr. Clean** · 10-05-2011, 09:08 PM

Actually GH, the second in your post probably hit the nail on the head for many farmers and ranchers today. Stealing a portion of a favorite Willie lyric...

I`d have to be crazy, plumb out of my mind...

**Dr Oldz** · 10-05-2011, 09:49 PM

Nice!!

**GearHead_1** · 10-05-2011, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Clean

Stealing a portion of a favorite Willie lyric...

Willie who?

**ca.detailchick** · 10-05-2011, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by GearHead_1

Willie who?

Willie Nelson !

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kg7kQYf6Qc"]i`d have to be crazy 1.wmv - YouTube[/ame]

**Mr. Clean** · 10-06-2011, 06:49 PM

Don`t worry detailchick, ol` GH knows all to well to whom I referenced there...but he couldn`t or wouldn`t miss an opportunity to throw me a little gig. I would have been disappointed if he had skipped that softball I lobbed into him.

**ca.detailchick** · 10-07-2011, 03:07 AM

Originally Posted by Mr. Clean

Don`t worry detailchick, ol` GH knows all to well to whom I referenced there...but he couldn`t or wouldn`t miss an opportunity to throw me a little gig. I would have been disappointed if he had skipped that softball I lobbed into him.

I figured so because of the telling wink smilie!

It was more for the young folks here who maybe never heard of Willie Nelson .