Originally Posted by
Jaddie
Dear Dan & Friends
With the utmost respect for your beliefs, I concede that I`m a nonbeliever. I don`t want to raise my son without exposing him to spirituality, but that can be done without the Sunday morning fight. And it is a nasty one that involves threats, punishment, and tears.
My son has been going to church for about four or five years mostly every Sunday. He was in a youth program that met once a week (Awanas) and eventually decided to stop attending after the close of a session. My in-laws asked me to force him to continue, saying it was important, but I countered with the fact that we force him to go to school five days a week, on four of which he has to come home and do homework. They held their ground and I held mine.
My son has ADHD. He feels caged when he knows we expect him to be quiet and still for an hour, especially without his ADHD medication. (We don`t give it to him until after lunch on Sundays because it kills his appetite.)
I seldom have complete confidence in a course of action, but I decided that I`d continue to force Max to go to church every Sunday (he doesn`t have to go when his grandparents are out of town) until his tenth birthday (in August). Then it`ll be up to him whether or not he attends, except for two occasions per year. I excepted the two occasions to accommodate his grandparents` probable desire for him to attend an Easter and Christmas service.
This was a unilateral decision. I told my wife that was my decision and that`s the way it was going to be. I don`t ever do that.
I will continue to encourage my son to be open-minded when it comes to religion and tell him the truth, which is that I believe people who are spiritual have a leg up on those of us who aren`t. Spiritual people have a very strong resource to lean on during hard and uncertain times.
Max doesn`t even know that I`m atheist. To him I always say nice things about church and churchgoers. My preference is that he find strength in something greater than himself and all of humankind, but I don`t believe I can force that on him. He`s too much like his old man for that.
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