Alien Joke

[salty]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed

for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien

addressed it saying, `Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to

your leader.`



The gas pump, of course, didn`t respond.



The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.



The older alien said, `I`d calm down if I were you.`



The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,

there was no response.



Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump`s haughty attitude, he drew his

ray gun and said impatiently, `Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do

not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!`



The older alien again warned his comrade saying, `You probably don`t want to

do that! I really don`t think you should make him mad.`



`Rubbish,` replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump!

and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared

towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a

burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.



Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly

at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green

head.



`What a ferocious creature!` exclaimed the young, fried alien. `He damn near

killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?`



The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend

and replied, `If there`s one thing I`ve learned during my intergalactic

travels, you don`t want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis around

himself twice and then stick it in his ear.`

[Jscort98]

heh, not bad.

[salty]

[IMG][/IMG]

[salty]

another joke.



Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one en-



gaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks



after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how



best to spice up their sex lives..







After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by



engaging in some S&M role playing.







The following week they met up again to compare notes.



Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, `Last



Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend`s



office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people



had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather



bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so



aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right



then and there!`







The engaged woman giggled and said,

`That`s pretty much my



story! When my fiance got home last Friday, he found me



waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose



and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only



made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!







The married woman put her glass down and said, `I did a lot



of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over



at Grandma`s. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put



on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice,



a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.



I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got



home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down



and yelled, `Hey, Batman, what`s for dinner