View Full Version : Doing family jobs...
Puckman
10-13-2009, 06:36 AM
As some if not most of us do, I take care of my parents and in-laws vehicles and always gratis. Both sets of parents live in other states and I don`t see them more than once a year.
My wife`s folks are in town and I like to take care of my father-in-law`s white Lincoln. After a year in Indiana it`s trashed. I`ll spend all day Saturday on it. I`ll get to my point.
I absolutely love taking this car from it`s current condition to like new again for him while he`s here. I want to do it because of all the things he`s done for me over the years and I like to pay him back by doing this little thing I can for him. I don`t want anything in return but he feels obligated to do something in return e.g. take the whole family out to dinner and pick up the tab, buy me hockey tickets etc. I`ve insisted that it`s just my small gesture of appreciation however I really don`t like the paybacks and I don`t want to feel owed.
Anyone else get this feeling and have any crafty ways of dealing with it? I`m sure he feels the same way and wants to show his appreciation for my efforts but the balance sheet of life is heavily weighted on his side for his generosity over the years. Catch 22 I guess.
imported_glfahlc
10-13-2009, 07:38 AM
i have the same problem with doing plumbing work for my family. i`ve come to realize it makes them feel better to give you something. so i dont charge and whatever they`re willing to give me is fine and they know i wouldn`t be the least bit insulted if they gave me nothing. so just take it and say thank you...
I`ve offered to detail family members` cars for free, of course. When I said that I`d need at least a day to do the work, no one accepted.
bmw5541
10-13-2009, 08:52 AM
Hey, that`s just the way parents are programmed. It makes them feel better if they can do something in return. I learned a long time ago, thit is best to sometimes just take what the want to give you, because it makes them happy.
imported_Luster
10-13-2009, 09:16 AM
I`m the only family member who cares if his car is clean or not.
For guys like us, that`s a hard pill to swallow, but it`s true.
I cleaned my fam`s cars for years, no expectations in return. But in a month, they were destroyed again... I`m not just talking trashed, I mean ready for the dumpster! Fast food wrappers, old fries, cups, receipts, mud..... To them, it`s just transportation.
I don`t do it anymore.
imported_BretFraz
10-13-2009, 10:44 AM
I always clean up the family cars if I have a chance. Most times its just a wash but if I can get my hands on the car for the day, I`ll do a full detail.
I never charge and never ask for money or compensation. If they want to do something nice for me or the family, I think that`s fine and let them make that call.
Doin this kind of manual labor is one way to show you care about them and their car, even if they don`t. It`s not about cars anyway, it`s about the gesture and the willingness to do something for someone you care about without wanting compensation.
If they want to do something nice for you in return, the mature and proper thing to do is accept graciously. If you don`t put conditions or expecations out there, everyone ends up happy.
Old Pirate
10-13-2009, 10:49 AM
Never ran into that problem, most of the family live to far away ( NYC or LA ) or overseas.
Puckman
10-13-2009, 10:53 AM
Thanks guys, I guess we all experience the same thing. I do graciously receive whatever they want to do in return but I just want to do it for them and I still will.
imported_Luster
10-13-2009, 12:23 PM
I should clarify in case my wife reads this....
She keeps her car VERY clean and she`s very careful to avoid puddles, clean her shoes off before entering the vehicle, etc.! Thanks Pam!!!:thumbup:
bmw5541
10-13-2009, 12:32 PM
I should clarify in case my wife reads this....
She keeps her car VERY clean and she`s very careful to avoid puddles, clean her shoes off before entering the vehicle, etc.! Thanks Pam!!!:thumbup:
Bill,
We can`t keep up with you. You are gonna love all that free prize winnings:w00t:
imported_Flash Gordon
10-13-2009, 12:45 PM
Wow, I guess I`m oddball out. Sleep
I charge Family and Freinds the same as I would if you were to call :driving:
imported_Indy YZF
10-13-2009, 01:37 PM
I would charge, but since they house and feed me when I go up there and play babysitter for us when we need them, I think I owe them more. It`s time consuming but they are greatful and that`s enough for me.
imported_RootsRadical
10-13-2009, 01:54 PM
While I`m not quite as generous as you, I`m still pretty good. I will do a 12 hour detail on family members cars in exchange for baby sitting while the detailing is going on and $20 or $30 for supplies. Hey, it`s not a total freebie but it`s pretty close! :P
imported_memnuts
10-13-2009, 02:09 PM
I know it sounds crazy but my parents don`t want me to detail their cars. For some strange reason they feel a light polish and wax will destroy the paint not perseve it. Keep in mind the one person who truly feels this way their car is beyond trashed ie clear coat failure in multiple areas, bird droppings that have been left on so long it has eaten through to the primer, i can go on.
When I have to house sit for my parents I polish their cars for them. Strange thing is they never seem to notice, and they are noticibly in better condition when I am done.
thecarter13
10-13-2009, 03:58 PM
I do all my family`s cars most of the time just simple washes and waxes but keep my mom and dads car in good condition and polish when needed. I never charge them or what not but they bankroll any of my supplies :thumbup:. I am sorta of on call with them which kinda sucks at times, but o well.