Critique my flyer

[LikeaRock]

I`m in my second week of self-employment (Woot!) and I`m finally kicking the procrastination door closed and making my flyer. My first week of business was already lined up so work wasn`t an issue, but now it is!

Little bit of backround info: I got tired of my previous job and decided to start working on my own. A friend of mine was interested in learning how to detail so I`ve been showing him everything I know, trying to get him prepaired for the real thing. We`re going to be partners in the business while we`re in school, after we both graduate we`ll decide what happens then, but for the time being we`ll be making good money, furthering our education, and best of all be self-employed!

Anyway...This is what I`ve come up with so far...


Are you thinking about selling your car?
Raise it’s resale value


Don’t have time to stop for a car wash?
Look no further and let us come to you!

Have it Detailed for only $150!
(Prices subject to change regarding vehicle condition and/or size)
Weekly wash programs available
Set up a maitenance plan to keep your vehicle looking top-notch!


We are a mobile service dedicated to excellence in both craftsmanship and friendly customer service. Quality work at a reasonable price, and best of all we come to YOU!

For more information call:
(XXX) XXX-XXXX
(XXX) XXX-XXXX

I`ve got to add some pictures of clients cars, add a border, stuff like that. We haven`t thought of a name yet and I know a name would make the flyer more appealing, but this is what I`m working with for right now.

Everyone`s input is greatly appreciated!

Dolan

[Beemerboy]

Dolan

In the start of the flyer list the three questions with ? this is asking the question that might be their problem.

Then you provide the answer "look no further"


Your company name then comes into play

"Dolan`s Detail is your mobile solution"

Then list a few of your services but do not get wordy....on my card its "a full service detailer"

Then last you list the free estimate and phone numbers

That would be my suggestion

[lonewolf0420]

Pretty good, but those are good points.

[Five Star]

Is it time to sell or trade-in your vehicle?
Our mobile detailing service can add up to $2,000 to its value!

For Example: 2003 Toyaota Camry , 36,000 mi

Excellent Condition Trade-in = $12,925
Fair Condition Trade-in = $10,725

Prices starting at $150+ We book fast so Call Today! (XXX) XXX-XXXX


Tired of waiting in line at the carwash? Do you need to pick up your client?
Is it your turn to drive in your carpool? Our mobile wash service will impress you.

Prices starting at $XX.XX We book fast so Call Today! (XXX) XXX-XXXX






You need to give them a reason to call you, back it up with proof, and you need to give them a reason to take action and call TODAY!

go check out a few internet marketing sites

[LikeaRock]

Dolan

In the start of the flyer list the three questions with ? this is asking the question that might be their problem.

Then you provide the answer "look no further"


Your company name then comes into play

"Dolan`s Detail is your mobile solution"

Then list a few of your services but do not get wordy....on my card its "a full service detailer"

Then last you list the free estimate and phone numbers

That would be my suggestion

Good points, Dave. I`ve never been the best at organizing a worded document, so I knew I could use the help of others :D
The name is the big killer...I`d really like to think of something to put on the flyer but I don`t want to use an unlicensed name so to speak...I`m going to be licensed, we just need a name...