Please Help Make my 96 Impala Look Terrible

[Danspeed1]

I know most of you are going to have to read this twice. Probably half of you will sob after reading this, hopefully I won`t get banned from the site.



Heres the problem, I am going back to College this year to finish up my education. And although my campus is beautiful, the neighborhood I live in during the school year is not so nice. We usually see alot of robberys, a few stolen cars, and a couple of shootouts. Last year a couple of local gentlemen thought my impala would look nice with a set of silver stripes running the length of the car. So they got out the spray cans and let loose down the side of the car. And to let me know who was responsible for the art work they also left a nice gang symbol on the hood. I didn`t appreciate this all that much, and luckily caught the paint before it was able to dry and harder on my car. I`m sure the 30 or so coats of wax I had on the car helped. My friend wasn`t so luckly. They got the bats out, and re-sculpted the panels on the car for him.



I love my car obviously so I made pervisions to buy a car I didn`t like. What I like to call a winter beater. Well of course one week before I have to go back to my prison, the beater decided it doesn`t want to run so I am stuck taking my nice car.



I need to make this thing look aweful! DIRTY, so much so that a bum wouldn`t want to be caught dead in it. But I can`t do anything that will harm the car seriously in any way. When this is all said and done in two or so weeks, the car needs to look like it did prior to this whole fiasco. I realize that it draws attention when its all dolled up, and my hope is if it looks like an old taxi cab, no body will pay any attention to it.



What do you think,... please keep this constructive, because if you were in my situation, you wouldn`t want to hear someone telling you not to take the car, when you have no way of getting to and from where you need to be in a neighborhood similar to Newark!



DG

[azenthusiast]

It is definitely a unique thread. Never seen that before lol. First off, I think it will damage the clearcoat no matter what if you leave it in a bad condition for that long. Also, have you looked into parking in a more secure area? I start classes next week and I have already scouted out the parking garage to find where I want to park. Plus, I made sure to get the lot that only has one entry or exit and that is via a keycard.

[sixty7mustang22]

Find you a good dirt road and drive up and down it a hundred times or so. Preferably when it is wet once or twice. That will take care of the outside.



As for the inside, I dunno. I have never had experience in that area. Ugly seat and steering wheel covers help make interiors look bad. When you go down that dirt road, roll the windows down a couple of times and just stop and let all the dust in. That will take care of the dash and guages.



Other than that, you may want to find you a really cheap set of steel wheels. Those always bring the visual value of the car down.



Good luck man.:nervous:

[m4gician]

why don`t you... I don`t know sell the car, move out somewhere. If such an area exists, you shouldn`t be there. I`m sorry to hear about all of that.

[mikebai1990]

I suppose this is a valid and serious question. Obviously, the better way would be to go find a more secure parking spot. Otherwise, I suppose you`ll have to try to "dirty up" your car.



I agree with sixtymustang. Keep the wax protection on your car, wet the car, and go driving on a dirt road until your car gets covered in dirt. No tire dressing, dirty glass, etc.



For the interior, I guess you could trash up the interior, but make sure not to make anything so dirty that it`s irreparable.



Don`t go too overkill with this. Just make it look like most of the dirty cars, nothing that makes your car stand out.

[Paulie Walnuts]

Give it to my wife for 2-4 days. No charge.

[codiddy]

Find you a good dirt road and drive up and down it a hundred times or so. Preferably when it is wet once or twice. That will take care of the outside.



As for the inside, I dunno. I have never had experience in that area. Ugly seat and steering wheel covers help make interiors look bad. When you go down that dirt road, roll the windows down a couple of times and just stop and let all the dust in. That will take care of the dash and guages.



Other than that, you may want to find you a really cheap set of steel wheels. Those always bring the visual value of the car down.



Good luck man.:nervous:

this was my original suggestion





You could also buy a cheap primer hood or get a junkyard hood and scratch it to hell

[mikebai1990]

Oh, right, I forgot the mention another alternative as well. I don`t know how viable this is for you, but maybe you could buy a beater/junk car to use instead.

[codiddy]

Oh, right, I forgot the mention another alternative as well. I don`t know how viable this is for you, but maybe you could buy a beater/junk car to use instead.

he said in his OP that he bought a beater and then it broke.

[Setec Astronomy]

How about a nice thick coat of paste wax that isn`t buffed off? That should give it a pretty hazy, crappy look, while still protecting it. There will be some risk when it comes time to take it off that there is debris stuck in the wax, but given the alternatives, this seems like a fair trade.



EDIT: There`s also that spray-on front-end bug shield stuff that`s been talked about on here (a couple of different kinds). Perhaps a layer of that all over the car will make it look crappy, although that might be a bunch more expensive than wax.

[BobD]

Just put a coat of Collinite 845 on it and stop washing it. I used to do this whenever I went to Detroit. If I knew I was going I wouldn`t wash my car for a week at least. hahaha!

[Matt's 03 GT]

How about a nice thick coat of paste wax that isn`t buffed off? That should give it a pretty hazy, crappy look, while still protecting it. There will be some risk when it comes time to take it off that there is debris stuck in the wax, but given the alternatives, this seems like a fair trade.



EDIT: There`s also that spray-on front-end bug shield stuff that`s been talked about on here (a couple of different kinds). Perhaps a layer of that all over the car will make it look crappy, although that might be a bunch more expensive than wax.



I would worry about the wax picking up dust as the car sat.

[Gopher]

hmm... Have you tried poop?

[Setec Astronomy]

I would worry about the wax picking up dust as the car sat.



Yes, it would have to be carefully washed (pressure washer?) afterwards. I think I`d rather deal with stuck dust than rattle-can stripes or baseball bat remodeling.

[Pats300zx]

Have you considered leaving this car at home and getting a total beater car to take to school. The last thing in the world that I would do would be to get my car looking pristine then trash it up so that others won`t. :nixweiss