Critique my Postcard!

[imported_Shaun Carollo]

Here is what I have been working on this Saturday morning. I have never done any postcard direct mailings, so if you guys have any experience with it, or have any suggestions for improvement it would be greatly appreciated. The mailing list will be off of infoUSA.com (http://www.infousa.com) (unless you know of somewhere better) and will consist of people with my surrounding cities, who make between an estimated $100,000-$102,000 per year. I only want to afford a list with 2,000 people or so; that is why I had to limit the money so much. I figure choose more cities than more of a range for income. Does this make sense? These will be going out the first week of April or so. So gimme whatcha got.



Also, I clipped my info out, and it is all crisp and clear in photoshop, none of that blurry junk.



http://inlinethumb05.webshots.com/1348/2599850000066013802S600x600Q85.jpg

[jimmybuffit]

Really very nice. Best of luck! What have you budgeted for everything (print, Names, postage, etc)?



BTW, Mequiar`s has strict guidelines on the use of their Logo. They`ll want a signed Agreement that governs your usage of the Logo...



Jim

[LeadingEdgeDetail]

I hope there is no white background on the Meguiars logo either? That looks pretty cheesy to me... Same with the white block with your "Free Paint Sealant"...



White blocks with writing in them don`t look good IMHO!

[imported_Shaun Carollo]

Here`s my revisions so far. I took out the Meg`s logo, and added a "coupon" look to the white rectangle. I also added a snapshot of a boat we detailed. Thanks for the input guys!



http://inlinethumb63.webshots.com/574/2819047860066013802S600x600Q85.jpg

[docker]

The revised card looks good, however, can you "soften" the white boarder around the "We also..." phrase? IMO it attracts too much attention, which may mean the rest of your card is not getting the attention you may want it to.



Also, not sure if Claying means anything to your intended audience. May be confusing ?

[_Toast_]

2nd one looks better - center the "mobile auto reconditioning"

[imported_ajbarnes]

"docker" & "toast" beat me to it.

[docker]

Another thought... under the phrase "A car is a reflection of you..." put in a door panel reflection shot of yourself (or a customer) in place of the truck???

[imported_Frugle]

good first try.




crit·i·cism /ˈkrɪtəˌsɪzÉ™m/

–noun

1. the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.

2. the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.

3. the act or art of analyzing and evaluating or judging the quality of a literary or artistic work, musical performance, art exhibit, dramatic production, etc.



that is what you asked for... so that is what I am going to give.. hope it is not to harsh..



take my comments with a grain of salt...





I`ll cut right to the chase.. I`m not going to butter you up, is that okay?





it looks cheesy and unprofessional. I sure wouldn`t call the number after recieving your card. Appearance is everything... if you don`t have graphic skills hire someone who does.. it doesn`t make you any less of a person because you don`t.



NEVER put red text on black. those two colors just don`t go together.. it is to hard to read especially for failing eyes.



the solid black background looks amaturish, looks like you did it in paint.



the blocking is hard to follow... also looks like you did it in paint. I don`t like the comments and cupons.. not-sure how many people really care about a cupon, especially for leather conditioning when 95% of people have seen that 10 dollar bottle of leather conditioner at wallmart.



also, an experation date?





sooooooooooo.... now that I`ve slapped you in the face AND kicked you in the balls...





- change your text, choose an font that is easy to read, not pretty.. (especially the "mobile auto conditioning" font.)

- do not type in red, or at least that color red.

- choose the focus of the card and follow that. If your looking for new customers, don`t give the process.

- Tell them WHY they should hire you. EVERY detailing company does the "wash wax, buff" thing.. why are you any different?



- Get rid of EVERY picture but 1. those pictures you have on there are completely worthless.. pick ONE SINGLE picture that shows EVERYTHING your company stands for.



- those pictures are to small to tell if they went through a swirl-o-matic carwash, or a 10 hour detail, they just look clean. not detailed.



I cannot stress enough to hire someone who does graphic design. It doesn`t have to be a professional, just find a teenager who knows how to use their illeagally downloaded Photoshop software. It won`t cost more than the customers you are loosing because of that postcard. I do postcards for people very often, it is not hard to do if you know what you are doing. I don`t charge people an arm and a leg to do it, and I don`t think many people will.



you have to be professional in an extremely competitive market, you have to prove that you are worth hireing AND that you are a better option than just going to a normal car wash.





that being said... I hope you don`t hate me. Good luck on your business adventure! i`m sure you do good work, show the world that you can!

[imported_Ivan Rajic]

^^i agree with frugle completely...



a bit OT.. frugle, is there a reason you say "higher" instead of "hire" ??

[imported_Frugle]

sorry, it was late... I`ll correct my post.

[imported_Ivan Rajic]

sorry, it was late... I`ll correct my post.



haha i don`t care... just wondering