Make me laugh and win a bottle

[08Sunburst]

One of my favorites as im a gamer :nerd1:





Also:

[08Sunburst]

And how could i forget!!!!! NSFW btw

[Ben@3D]

Funny stuff sunburst. lol:lol You win the 2nd one! Anybody else?

[imported_ZimRandy]

Must have been a really tall curb........





:lol

[Scottwax]

YouTube - VIDEO- Norm Mcdonald tells the moth joke on Conan

[PorscheGuy997]

[AlexRuiz]

Well, hopefully not too much will get "lost in translation" :p



One day, the big lion, king of the jungle, is taking a walk, and he notices the donkey is crying, and keeps crying.... and keeps crying for entire days. Tired of the weeping, he promises a huge prize to whoever can make the donkey stop crying. All the animals come and try to tickle him, make jokes, make funny faces, etc. Nothing works...



Then, the monkey appears and tells the lion "I want all the bananas in the kingdom,I`ll make him stop crying" The lion says yes. Monkey takes the donkey behind a bush, and a few seconds later they are out and donkey is laughing histerically.... no more crying. Lion says "you won your prize, all the bananas in the kingdom are yours... "



Donkey keeps laughing maniacally for days, and the days turn into weeks and he cannot stop laughing. Lion gets tired and thinks "I preferred a crying donkey, he was not as noisy..." He then offers a third of the kingdom to whoever can make donkey stop laughing. Again, all the animals come and try to make donkey stop laughing. They punch him, kick him, tell him sad stories, chop onions in front of him.... nothing works.



Monkey appears again, and tells lion "I want the third of the kingdom closest to the river" Lion says yes. Again, monkey takes donkey behind a bush, and a few seconds later, then come out and donkey is weeping like a baby.... monkey did it again, he earned the prize!



Curious, lion asks him.

- You did great monkey, but would you mind sharing the secret?

- It is easy lion!

- How?

- To make him laugh I just told him "I`ll bet you, mine is bigger than yours!"

- Oh, I see. No wonder he was laughing, that is hilarious! .... but I am curious monkey, how did you make him cry?

- I just "showed" him that it was true....







Alex

PS. In my native Spanish the joke is hilarious. As you could guess, in my native Mexico, the donkey is the animal used in jokes when taking "big tools".....

[Ben@3D]

Must have been a really tall curb........





:lol

I just pissed my paints. Too funny! :har:



Congrats on winning the 3rd bottle!

[Ben@3D]

Congrats to:



:first: Shiny Lil Detlr



:second: 08Sunburst



:third: ZimRandy



Please pm me your Name, phone, & Address if you have not already.



Thanks for everyone who posted. You all are a crack up. Too bad I didn`t have more to give away!

[08Sunburst]

YAY!!!



PM in progress



I actually cant wait to try this stuff out, my car came back from the body shop with lovely swirls on it. When i have time i need to give the whole car(which i already spent hours upon hours this past fall on) another detail.

[tssdetailing]

Sexual content warning (words only): http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/2...4113412003.jpg

I LMAO so hard at this-great post!!!!

[Ben@3D]

I LMAO so hard at this-great post!!!!

LOL, ya scott would of won a bottle already with that one if he didnt have one coming his away.



Hrm scottwax, better at detailing or better at the funny... Tuff call! :hm





Win win regardless. :becky:

[MirrorDetailing]

Meh its already over...but my contribution...



U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning

briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish

its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He

explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he

failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.





He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how

much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of

work. A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant respondedwith

25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at

the time.





There being no consensus, thecolonel turned to the PFC who was

in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion? Without any

hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100%pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?



"Well, sir, if there was anywork involved, the officers would have me

doing it for them."





The room fell silent.



and



A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.



"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"



"Negative, ma`am. Just serious by nature."



The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action."



"Yes, ma`am, a lot of action."



The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."



The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don`t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"



"1955, ma`am."



"Well, there you are. No wonder you`re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.



Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn`t forget much since 1955."



The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not … it`s only 2130 now."

[C. Charles Hahn]

I love guys in big brown trucks! Just received my bottle of HD UNO Beta #1435 with a production date of 5/11/11.



This weekend I have a couple Germans coming over (a jet black BMW E92 and a white VW Jetta) so I`ll report back with testing results soon.



Thanks again Ben! :becky:

[Ben@3D]

Your welcome. Look forward to your review!