Not Sure How To Title This One - Page 2

Accumulator · 10-01-08, 09:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flashtime

Mid-life? That depends on when you die.

Yeah, and I find it sorta

that a lot of my friends don't consider themselves "middle aged" in their late 40s.

DavidB · 10-01-08, 10:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Accumulator

Yeah, and I find it sorta

that a lot of my friends don't consider themselves "middle aged" in their late 40s.

No, I'm not middle aged... I'm half dead!

RDAVEX7 · 10-01-08, 09:47

I am 29 yrs old and have been going through some things as far as turning 30 very soon and not reaching the bar I set for myself over 10 yrs ago. I always wanted to be succesful at the youngest age possible so I could retire very early and enjoy the rest of my life instead of being like all the old guys I had worked with who were pushing 60 and didnt have a penny to their name and no retirement to fall back on. I have always felt like nothing can stop me and I can control my destiny with enough hard work and dedication because nobody is going to do it for me.

I was recently told by my wife that it's common for men to feel a sense of urgency to make something of themself's around age 30 or before they get there. I dont know where she got the info but I believe it, that's exactly what im doing now. I have been so wrapped up in my business and my long time career that I had lost sight of everything else around me and most importantly my wife and kids. All because I want to make something of myself before im old and creepy looking lol. I felt like I wasnt going anywhere with my career and all the thing's I was supposed to be doing werent happening in the time frame I had set for myself. So after turning my hobby/passion into a business all the other stuff my career had to offer finally came and now I stand to own the company my dad bought and sold and im doing it without daddy's help. I have worked for the guy my dad sold it to for yrs now and it has grown alot since it was sold. Last year was our best year at 1.5 million. It is very hard to juggle my biz and my career.

I guess what im saying is that at one piont I had a plan set and all I had to do was follow it to a T and all would be good. I have learned that plans do change and you have to roll with the punches and your plan has to be tweaked slightly as you go through life. I now realize that success shouldnt be measured by a prestigious job or how big your house is or the Porsche you drive, it is all the other things around you like your family and friends, happiness not financial wealth. You dont have to be Roccefeller to acomplish something great.

Just my 2 cents.

snowskate · 10-01-08, 11:57

I agree with you RDAVEX7.
there seems to be some sort of tug of war that goes on between..say,
what others think we should do or expected us to do and what we truly want to do

kind of like nature vs nurture
what we've been taught vs what drives our 'will'
maybe it's all about 'parental expectations' that have 'blanketed' us for so many years
while their expectations are probably in good wishes, we're still part of how they want 'their' life to go

Money and prestige comes and goes. Happiness, peace of mind, a clean conscience, and honesty to yourself is priceless.

themightytimmah · 10-02-08, 01:15

Holden - that's a quarter life crisis right there man. I've gone through the same thing a couple of times, raw ambition is really tough at this age (I've got 4 more years in the system before I'll be out earning a living).

Accumulator · 10-02-08, 10:25

Plans need to be flexible...what's that old saying..it's something like "no battle plan survives contact with the enemy". And IMO a lot of life plans that people come up with when they're young are simply less than realistic, there just isn't enough life-experience there to base 'em on.

snowskate brought up a very good point, a lot of people are externally motivated, basing stuff on what others say/believe/expect instead of being *internally* motivated and listening to themselves. Of course, listening to yourself might not work out too well either if you're wrong about stuff all the time!

RDAVEX7- Heh heh "...before I'm old and creepy looking"

Flashtime · 10-02-08, 12:08

36 now. I used to think i should have been at a certain "stage" by a certain age.
Plenty of time to think and reflect. I thunk it. I am where i'm suppose to be
because of where i was. Reality accepted.

User Name · 10-02-08, 12:12

I'm reading a book where the author said something very profound about being forty (not forty yet) but still interesting. He says...

Being 40 is the worst age possible. You are young enough to still have dreams and old enough to realize you're not going to attain them.

I'm 35, still have dreams and hope I can achieve them, although I'm getting closer (almost daily) to realizing the above quote.

Flashtime · 10-02-08, 12:38

In my 20's, others would ask what i was going to do. I'd reply, "I'm old enough
to know and young enough to do." As long as one is doing "better" than before,
than that should be of some comfort. And not so much financially better but
mentally and emotionally better. Gaining a better understanding of one's own
hypocrisy is key.

Accumulator · 10-03-08, 09:31

User name- I dunno, by 40 I'd think somebody's dreams oughta be realistic enough that they can be realized

That author sounds a bit too pessimistic for me.

Sheesh, I'm looking forward to *agreeing* with you about something!

User Name · 10-03-08, 10:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Accumulator

User name- I dunno, by 40 I'd think somebody's dreams oughta be realistic enough that they can be realized

That author sounds a bit too pessimistic for me.

Sheesh, I'm looking forward to *agreeing* with you about something!

Well, I suppose he might be a bit pessimistic, but you have to look at the context of ones aspirations.

I have had TWO major aspirations, neither yet realized. One is to handle a "major" case that has national or at least regional notariety. I thought I had it two years ago, but just couldn't get the networks to jump on board.

The other is to hold a prominent position in public office.

David703 · 10-04-08, 06:46

I'm 49 and I don't think I've had a mid-life crisis.. I date younger women because I'm attacted to them... I don't think it has to do with wanting them to make me feel any younger.. in fact they make me feel older..

The only thing I've felt that is a sign of getting older is that sports injuries sure do take a heck of a lot longer to heal compared to my teen years!!

I don't have any dreams unfullfilled due to my age.