Ethical to date a customer's daughter?

Scottwax · 01-25-06, 07:23

Well?

I have a regular customer (well, not so regular since he and his 2nd wife got divorced) and his kids from his first wife are well into adulthood. I had met his son and younger daughter (from wife #1) but not the older daughter until today.

I go out to wash his Charger and detail the interior and wash the outside of his daughter's Tribute. Long story short, after he introduced me to his daughter, we seemed to hit it off very well. So well in fact, her Dad had to come down and tell her to stop distracting me so I could finish the Charger. We talked again while I was finishing up her Tribute too.

2 problems though...

1. She is the daughter of a customer
2. She smokes. She doesn't appear to be a heavy smoker but still...

Maybe a 3rd problem? I am 44 and she is 27. Oddly enough, her Dad is 53 and the girl he was with today is younger than his daughter. Not sure if that would make this girl more likely to not be bothered by the age difference or maybe bothered a great deal more.

Anyway, her Dad gave me her number (it was so I could call her when it got too dark to work outside and needed to move her SUV and my car into the lighted parking garage) and she does know I have it-maybe since she is new to the area (she'd been living in Florida) I could offer to show her around town?

Setec Astronomy · 01-25-06, 08:02

That's a pretty big age difference. People pooh-pooh that but I think it can be significant in a number of ways, not saying it has to be, but it requires some thinking. The smoking...that can certainly be a deal breaker. There are plenty of people that age that stop and don't go back...but plenty that start up again after quitting for a while. As far as the customer thing, I don't think you make a habit of doing that, and it's not unethical like it would be for some professions, but if you are prepared to lose the customer if things go badly, and can accept that, I would give it a shot.

ceiol · 01-25-06, 08:16

no sweat at all -- if you have chemistry, then go for it.

I'm 36 and my girlfriend is 21. Her dad is 20 yrs older than her mom (her dad's 2nd marriage, her mom's 1st and only marriage).

And my 21 yr old gf IS the daughter of a customer -- I did surgery on her dad a year before I started dating her.

And she's the coolest and nicest person I've dated in the last 3 years

GO FOR IT !

holland_patrick · 01-25-06, 08:17

At least you'll be the one cleaning the mess out of the car when your done scott..

Scottwax · 01-25-06, 08:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by holland_patrick

At least you'll be the one cleaning the mess out of the car when your done scott..

Oh snap!

truzoom · 01-25-06, 09:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by holland_patrick

At least you'll be the one cleaning the mess out of the car when your done scott..

Whoop Whoop!

Brandon1 · 01-26-06, 02:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by holland_patrick

At least you'll be the one cleaning the mess out of the car when your done scott..

ha that is too funny

AL-53 · 01-26-06, 03:21

Scott

I say if you do decide to ask her to to go out and she accepts....and something brews from it..go for it....you both are adults....and can make decisions...as far as what anybody else thinks...who cares...have to take care of your self first and not worry about others

I say test the waters....if it is fine..jump in...if cold.. back out..

Good Luck champ

AL

ajbarnes · 01-26-06, 03:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by holland_patrick

At least you'll be the one cleaning the mess out of the car when your done scott..

Even my wife was cracking up at that one.

theeloved1 · 01-26-06, 03:29

1. Age difference is no problem to me....at your ages that is. When you're talking about younger people (under21 with over 21) it makes a bit of a difference.

2. The smoking thing is completely your call and preference. I for one, would leave my wife if she were to take on smoking...I simply hate it that much.

3. The daughter of a customer thing all depends on if you can afford to lose the customer. If things ended sourly, then you'd probably be out the father's business, but not for sure. You're both consenting adults, her father shouldn't play a role.

Pats300zx · 01-26-06, 03:47

I would say go for it. If there is some type of attraction between the two of you than at least give it a chance. Heck it can't hurt to go our for some drinks or maybe dinner.

Good luck...

Hey, Moe! · 01-26-06, 03:58

I have been on my own for five years now, and I have been very, very cautious about who I dated. To me, it just made sense to be that way.

However, I have been seeing a woman who I have known for over two decades. She got divorced at the same time I did, and after we each got over divorce issues, we kind of bumped into each other. She is a fantastic woman, and we have a nice, balanced, sensible, enjoyable relationship. I don't know where it will end, though neither of us are pushing the issue.

The kicker to this is that she is my landlady! She's a successful realtor in my town, and she owned one of the few apartments I was interested in renting.

Yes, I still pay my rent. That's only fair. I guess what I am trying to say is that what you are thinking of is workable.

It depends on how you go about it, and the makeup of the people involved. I think that if you go about it in that fashion, you will get your answer in the long run.

Best of luck!