How do you guys deal with "girls night out"?

Brandon1 · 10-17-05, 08:03

My girlfriend is in college, as well as I, and her and her friends love to go out partying about twice a month. Those 2 times, I am not with her. I hate it b/c I have to sit at home and think about what guy is rubbin on her, is she ok, and on top of that, I have a bad mental image of her with a beer in her hands. She is by no means an alcholic, just a college girl who has to party(evidently that is what college people do) When she tells me she is going, It pretty much messes up my night and most of the next day b/c I am thinking about how bad I hate her clubbing or drinking with friends. And I make her feel guilty about doing it, so it ruins her night also. I trust her completely about not cheating on me or anything, it is just other guys I dont trust, and other girls for that matter. she always does is responsibly also, so you would think I would not be bothered by it. But I hate it more than anything in the world,(even more than swirls)

The only resolution we can think of is either for me to get over the situation, or for her to stop. I cant get over it, and I could not ask her to stop b/c I know she has alot of fun. I dont know what to do or where to turn for answers.

So how do yall deal with your "lovely others" going out with the girls. Any tips or tricks to not let it bother me so much will be appreciated!

Brandon

Setec Astronomy · 10-17-05, 08:13

Is this the same female that you had a tattoo issue with?

Cuda444 · 10-17-05, 08:17

It's tough, my gf goes to school 6 hours away, so she's out every weekend, as she should be. She doesn't drink and I have 100% trust in her to make good judgments about slime balls tryin to get in her pants or whatever... Do I like it? No of course not. Does she like it when I go out? Nope... But you have to be social, and have some fun once and awhile. Maybe you could ask her if you could tag along once, just to see what goes on. If you really do trust her, tell her so and let her go have her fun... You'll get to have fun when she gets back

G35stilez · 10-17-05, 08:19

Everyone needs their personal time. However, even though you say it doesn't, it sounds like deep down you have a trust issue with your girl or maybe her friends. Maybe her past makes you believe this or whatever, but you either need to discuss it with her or just get over it.

My girlfriend does the same thing every once and a while (maybe once a month or so). She is honest with me if a guy flirts or trys anything, but shes very strong minded and knows what she has with me. Its never been an issue. I support her with her decisions as she does with mine. The relationship needs to go both ways. I know that if I go out with the guys, shes cool with it.

Hope this helps a little bit. College life is very tough, especially on a relationship. Not to sound like a chick (no offense ladies, I just always hear this from them):

"If its meant to be, it will be"

J.J. · 10-18-05, 01:20

Why do you sit at home while she is out partying? I used to love girls night out... it always meant guys night out, and I made sure I always had way more fun than she did. But, I'm married now and all those foolish thoughts are behind me. If you feel jealous b/c she's out with the gilrs, there is definitely a deeper issue there.
You're in college.... there's so much fun to be had there! I would consider it one of the best times of my life. Don't sit around on the couch worried about who your chicks diggin'! Girls will be girls and guys... well, guys! Fundamentaly, we're all animals attracted to the other sex.
The real truth of the matter is, she's exploring her options. You can't hold it against her for you should be doin' the same thing. College is about finding yourself more than it is finding a mate. I learned more about myself in those four years than I learned the previous 18 in total. But, belive this, you don't want to look back in five or ten years and wish you did things differently. Regret sucks and I promise you will regret sitting around worridly waiting for some female to come home. Girlfriends (and boyfriends for that matter) in college are a real waste of time IMO. I had way more fun with the girls that were friends than I ever did w/ a college girlfriend.

GET OUT, HAVE FUN AND BE A COLLEGE MAN! IT"S WAY MORE FUN!!!

JJ

rfinkle2 · 10-18-05, 04:19

I can understand to a point your thoughts about other guys rubbing up on her etc. However, girls like to go dancing, and guys like to detail...it is kind of a girls hobby. Granted, you don't have drunk girls rubbing on u while your detailing, but the clubs are the only place for the girls to go and have a good time dancing.

I'm still single, and rarely go to clubs, but have noticed that most girls who are there because they like to have a good time, dance with eachother, and kind of laugh @ the guys who are all about rubbin up on them.

I think that if she understands that you are uncomfortable with other guys treating her like meat, she'd understand why u are a little worried.

When she is out, if you treat her right and she truly loves you, she will probably grow to love you even more because she'll see how goofy many guys act @ those clubs.

HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO WHILE SHE's dancing the night away... detail her car for her. That way, she'll know you were thinking of her when she has a hangover and sore feet the next day! LOL

rfinkle2 · 10-18-05, 04:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by GSRstilez

Everyone needs their personal time. However, even though you say it doesn't, it sounds like deep down you have a trust issue with your girl or maybe her friends. Maybe her past makes you believe this or whatever, but you either need to discuss it with her or just get over it.

My girlfriend does the same thing every once and a while (maybe once a month or so). She is honest with me if a guy flirts or trys anything, but shes very strong minded and knows what she has with me. Its never been an issue. I support her with her decisions as she does with mine. The relationship needs to go both ways. I know that if I go out with the guys, shes cool with it.

Hope this helps a little bit. College life is very tough, especially on a relationship. Not to sound like a chick (no offense ladies, I just always hear this from them):

"If its meant to be, it will be"

GSR, not only do I agree w/ your detailing choices, but it sounds like you and your g-friend have things worked out. -Good advice and killer detailing.

cwcad · 10-18-05, 04:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by rfinkle2

GSR, not only do I agree w/ your detailing choices, but it sounds like you and your g-friend have things worked out. -Good advice and killer detailing.

Could not agree with you more!!

It really sounds like a trust issue that only you can deal with.

Since i am older than you I will impart something that made no sense to me as a young man but has made more sense the older I have become.

Take your hand and rub your forearm. While your doing this say the following, "Everything outside my skin I cannot control." The more you say it the more clear it will become. Take care of the things that you can control and let the other's do the same. Just keep your house in order. If you say that you trust her then beleive it!!

ebpcivicsi · 10-18-05, 05:07

I tell her to have a good time and call me if anyone needs a ride.

IMO, if you can't both have time away from one another without jealousy or trust issues, the relationship is in dire straights.

Remember, she's not your girl, she's her girl.

SpoiledMan · 10-18-05, 05:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebpcivicsi

I tell her to have a good time and call me if anyone needs a ride.

IMO, if you can't both have time away from one another without jealousy or trust issues, the relationship is in dire straights.

Remember, she's not your girl, she's her girl.

I even do this with my wife. Very good advice!

hondaguy2582 · 10-18-05, 07:49

If your that worried, you shouldn't be in a relationship with a girl if you cant trust her. Either deal with it, or go out with your buddies and hit on some women for fun

!!!!!!!!!!

Brandon1 · 10-18-05, 08:07

thanks for the responses guys. Looks like I have some issues to work out. I just needed an outside opinion about this subject and yall gave it to me. I always have trusted her and her friends, and she always knows I am just a phone call away. I dont like drinking and I guess that just emphasizes my troubles with her.

Thanks for all the good advice, maybe I can put it to good use when she goes out with her friends again in 2wks.
Brandon