How do you guys deal with "girls night out"? - Page 2

LightngSVT · 10-18-05, 08:33

I wish my wife would still do that! Although she does go away for weekend trips and it doesnt worry me in the least. I think it may be your age, but (no offense intended) you seem to either have trust or control issues. You say you trust her but you dont act like and actions speak louder than words to women trust me. I thionk you need to figure out why you are insecure and work on those issues. If you truely trust, the really trust her to go out for an evening and have fun, Im sure she deserves it. Like someone else said this sounds like a good excuse for guys night out too!

BigAl3 · 10-18-05, 08:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebpcivicsi

IMO, if you can't both have time away from one another without jealousy or trust issues, the relationship is in dire straights.

agreed

Brandon1 · 10-18-05, 11:57

Guess yall are right. Even though we are in college, I dont want this relationship to end. She is my girlfriend and my best friend(my guy friends dont hang out with me anymore b/c I am "always spending time with her)(I only see her 2 nights a week). I guess I either need to have a serious think session about this or keep my thoughts and words about this subject to myself.

Brandon1 · 10-18-05, 11:58

"HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO WHILE SHE's dancing the night away... detail her car for her. That way, she'll know you were thinking of her when she has a hangover and sore feet the next day! LOL "

I cant, I am always away at our beach house with my family on the weekends! This is also why I dont go out with her at all, literally cant get to her!

LightngSVT · 10-18-05, 12:13

Whatever you do, dont lose your friends over a woman. There is a balance there. Why not invite her up to the beach house for the weekend every other week, sounds like a fair trade?

Brandon1 · 10-18-05, 12:25

I do most of the time, but sometimes parents are there and I would rather stay home

tdekany · 10-18-05, 04:48

Do you think that maybe her drinking that bothers you? If that is the case.....
I'll wait for your answer first.

Brandon1 · 10-18-05, 06:06

that is a definate yes on that one. I dont like to think about her having a beer in her hands.

tdekany · 10-18-05, 06:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brandon1

that is a definate yes on that one. I dont like to think about her having a beer in her hands.

Brandon, she is not the one for you. I hate to tell you, even if it hurts your feelings. I am sorry. I am looking out for you

I've been there & you are not the last one either.

The chances of having a respectful relationship in the long run would most likely come with someone who is a non drinker like yourself. She is out there For what it's worth.

Picus · 10-19-05, 04:33

I'm an old married guy now - but tdekany is right on. It sounds like you don't trust her, especially when she's drinking.

As an aside, I love when my wife goes on girls nights out. It just means I get to have guys night out.

DETAILKING · 10-19-05, 06:49

It's tough and I went through that a few yrs ago. On the one had I always wanted her to drive so she could leave when and if she wanted to. I mean sometimes the gf's coax her into joining them after hours and go to some strange doods house to party.....no thx! It's worse if her gf's are single because if they are meeting guys they really won't care that your gf is hitched!

On the other hand, if I know she is gonna be drinking I don't want her driving.

There is no easy way, except to talk about it and have a mutual trust and respect.

Spilchy · 10-19-05, 06:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brandon1

She is my girlfriend and my best friend(my guy friends dont hang out with me anymore b/c I am "always spending time with her)

Ugh, take the skirt off dude (joking). I have seen far too many friendships go the wayside over this. The sad part is, the girlfriends are long gone and friendships are damaged.

Like the old expression "bros over hoes." I am in no way saying that's your g-friend, but it gets the point accross.

Part of having a successful relationship is having her blend in with your friends so you all can go out and spend time with everyone as well as having quality alone time with her. It is important to include her with your friends as well as spending time apart from her. The same applies to you and her friends.

If you're concerned about what her girls night out agenda is (strip club, casino, etc...) then you need to let her now how you feel and indicate that if you do the same then she can't get bent out of shape. When I threw my best friend's bachelor party, it involved certain activities of a not so "moral" nature. My other close friend who was engaged, decided not to attend the festivities, only dinner. He indicated he had a close talk with his fiance and she asked that he not attend and he respected and honored her decision. My point is, we all repsected his decision and gave him no grief because all during their dating years (two I believe) she was a part of our group. He was able to strike a balance with his now wife and his group of friends. He still went on all sorts of guys night out events with us over the years like footbal games, baseball games, golf outings, bars, and even strip clubs (while he was dating).

Don't lose your friends over her and don't be a controller. The cornerstone of a healthy relationship is trust and communication. If you don't have them, then you're doomed.