Flipping channels and caught two guys spray "waxing" a red MB on QVC. What's this? Final Detail what???
They were using "Final Detail [Instant Spray Wax?] with DuPont Zonyl". ??? Two bottles for $18.XX plus shipping. Enough to do 40 cars! You'll never use paste wax again. Phone customer called in..."I just got this for my husband because he is a FANATIC about cleaning his car. He will be so surprised!" [Honey, if he really is a car detail "fanatic", pack your bags, your off the payroll, get out of Graceland.]
"You'll never have to use paste wax again....doesn't get in the cracks, see here, and here....I have a detail shop [now I really start listening] and our customers never want the buffer because you get all those swirls..." [No wonder they don't want the buffer. You must have given them all those swirls.] This product will give you a great shine and get rid of those swirls....see, just like that.
"Just a wash and use that Final Detail ", our customer tell us. And we do Rolls, Ferrari's, [on and on. What, no Yugos?]. Our customers are out in ten minutes and they love it. [Forget the spray wax, sell me your client list, please! They have got to be the biggest morons in the world. I could use some customers who want the $100, ten minute wash and wax for the Bently. TEN MINUTE WASH AND WAX! I'll pay $100 just to learn how that's done. I can see it now "Forget the soap and DA today, Marty, my good man. I'm in a hurry to play Polo and you know how I love that Final Detail Wax with Dupont Zonyl."]
"Look here, folks...you can use it on the windows too. No waxy build up and the best thing is it's gonna' polish your windows too." [Too bad it can't paint my house.] Then the guy showed a plastic or rubber bumper practically COATED with something white. [That looks like paint, doesn't it?] "See this paste wax build up. You could rub this for hours. And, as any car guy can tell you, it is impossible to get off." If it was paste wax on the sample panel they must have used a whole can of something like old Raindance or NuFinish maybe. I can't remember all the patter.
They would cut away and show some babe in shorts working the product on another red MB hood outdoors somewhere. [Wonder if those short jean shorts she's wearing have any metal buttons cause she was leaning all over the side of the car.]
Ok, you get the picture. But what really got me rolling on the floor was when the EXPERT car guy dropped his purple MF on the studio "garage" floor and it hit pretty flat. [Oh,no! He's going to pick it up!] Mr. Expert, who has a detail shop, picked it up. Then he started polishing the car somemore! Now I know what DuPont Zonyl does. It makes one stupid, puts the zap on your head and then you just think your car looks great.
New acronym.....FDISWWZ....pronounced, FaDizWizz.
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