So I'm sitting here having a beer and realxing after a long day's work and my phone rings after my son's already gone to bed... It's my annoying customer calling me again at night time after I've asked him not to. I've got this customer that well, from the first telephone call, annoyed the $h1t out of me and my wife (who took the all) from the get-go. He had a million questions about this and that and just kept repeating himself, etc. Long story short, he washed his car with a Brillo pad, no wait, he maimed literally), his car with a Brillo pad. Here's a piccie:
If you'd like to and can bear the site of it, you can view the whole murder report here
Toyota Corolla Skinned Alive
Anyhoo, I polished the guy's car about a year ago and TBH there was just no end to the scratches... they were like Gremlins that sprouted with polish instead of water. I didn't have a PTG at the time, but the good sense fairy told me that a once-over with a wool pad and flattening it out with a polishing pad was about all I could pull off safely. I removed what scratches I could with that combo and called it a day. Now, 1 year later, he's still complaining that there's little cob webs in his paint... I've explained it to him 1,000 times that he's the one that destroyed his paint work and there's no fixing it, you can't polish it out much more (I measured his paint also... 100's-80's and my friend's Corolla is in the 120's-140's), and that I personally WILL NOT polish it again. Seriously the guy's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he just keeps PERSISTING that we polish his car again and he's more or less insinuating that I didn't do a good job on it.
I'm going to him on Saturday to put dressing on the back part of his trunk that I missed last week (because the guy just won't stop nagging me and taking to me when I'm cleaning his car... I'm a man, I can only do 1 thing at a time) and he wants me to polish his car again, as well. As you have probably already gathered, I've lost my patience with this imbecile, as I've explained to him a millionbazillion times that I'm not polishing his car again. Now here's my dilemma (sorry about the long build up, but I'm venting):
He's a loyal customer who calls me about every 3 months to do his car. He also buys products from me, but not enough to do everything yet. Do I...
1. Tell him AGAIN politely that I'm not polishing his car and tell him to go to someone else to have it done.
2. Tell him I'll polish his car for an exuberant sum of money and that he needs to sign a waiver "relinquishing me from any and all damage that may be incurred in the polishing process and/or damage that may be caused in the future as a result of polishing."
3. Sell him some polish and tell him to do it himself.
4. Tell him that I don't need his business if he's going to be so pushy and stubborn.
5. Break his rotten teeth out and shove them under his toenails.
Now both options #1 and #2 have catches to them. If he goes to someone else to have it polished chances are they're going to do "a fabulous job". This guy is a "placebo effect" case... you can tell him that the rain feels much drier due to the high nitrogen levels in the air today and he'll agree with you. So then, I look like the doof that couldn't polish his car well at all, although I've seen work that the other guys do and well... he'll think it's better anyway just because he paid for it. #2, if I polish his car again, regardless of how many scratches I take out it will still look like poop on a stick. BUT, he'll say that it looks MUCH better. I polished his bumpers again last week with a finishing pad and a a finishing polish and he said it looks SO much better...
I'm for #5, but open to any other suggestions...
Re: The extremely ANNOYING customer
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