Blonde joke(s)

[shine]

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?



You can park in the handicap zone.

[Jscort98]

A blonde opened up a box of cheerios, ran to her husband and said "look, donut seeds!"

I posted it a week ago in another thread but it's the only one I have.

[RDAVEX7]

What's the best part about dating homeless girls?

You can drop them off anywhere!




I stole that from a movie, cant remember wich one though.

[manicrodder]

Here you go:




BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburettor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'

[toyotaguy]

mexican dude, asian dude and a blonde white dude....

mexican looks at his lunch and says "damn, if I get a burrito for lunch one more time I am going to jump off this ledge"

asian dude looks at his lunch and says "damn, if I get noodles one more time I too am going to jump off"

blond looks at his lunch and say "if I get ham one more time I am going to jump off"

next day they all look at their lunches...mexican gets burrito, asian noodle, and blonde ham...they all jump off the ledge to their death!

AT the funeral all the wives were present...

mexican wife - "if I only knew he didnt want burritos, I could have made him tacos or enchiladas instead"

asian wife "If i only knew he didnt want noodles, I would have made him a rice bowl instead

blonde wife - "Dont look at me, the idiot makes his own lunch!"

HAHAHAHA!!!!

[cb804]

Blondestar... (a spoof of OnStar)...

YouTube - BLONDESTAR

"take hold of the inside of the door handle --- the shiney thing"

[DaGonz]

A group of blondes were in a bar celebrating.
"What's the happy occasion?" asked the bartender
"wer just finished a puzzle", ont of the blondes said.
"We did it in an hour! The box said for three to six years"

[Aviator16]

All very nice jokes here's my personal favorite though,

How do you make a blonde laugh on monday?


...........Tell her a joke on friday.

[stiffdogg06]

How do you keep a blonde entertained?
Scroll Down......




































Scroll up.......

[salty]

One of the better ones i've heard.


"Blonde with Tattoo


A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that
location.

She responds, 'It's really cool. If you put your ear up against it,

you can smell the ocean."

[TechDriver]

A blonde is driving down the highway and accidently rear ends a man in his truck.

They pull over to the side of the road and he asks the blonde what happened?

she apologizes and says she was distracted with putting on her make-up.

Frustrated, the man grabs a piece of chalk and draws a circle on the pavement, step inside that circle and dont you dare step out!

He proceeds to her car and starts kicking her fender in, he looks over at the blonde and she has a giant smirk on her face.

Agitated he grabs his key and runs it across the side of her car, he looks over at the blonde and shes holding her mouth giggling.

Furious the man grabs a bat from his truck and begins smashing her window in. He looks over at the blonde and she is laughing hysterically. He then screams out WHATS SO FUNNY!!!!

the blonde replies, I stepped out of the circle every time you weren't looking.