What is Chivalry, and is it Dead?

DavidB · 09-28-08, 11:23

How many time have you heard some one say "Chivalry is dead?" This is a sad commentary on the contemporary gentleman.

Most of us grew up learning that there are a few simple actions that a gentleman must do be chivalrous, including being polite, opening doors, and providing assistance to those who need it. The concept of chivalry started in medieval times as one of the customs of knighthood. The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women carried forward into modern times as the best practices of a gentleman.

While the origins of chivalry involve a knight doing anything to honor, serve, and never displease a lady, a true gentleman offers these courtesies to all. Open the door for anyone, not just women. Help all those in need, lot just a pretty lady. If you are attempting to bring out your gentlemanly side in front of a lady (never a bad move), then chivalrous actions are the order of the day.

Here are a few interesting pages on the subject:

Medieval Chivalry
A Lesson in Modern Chivalry and Gentlemen's Etiquette - Daily Nexus
A Code of Chivalry

MASKDMARVL · 09-28-08, 12:03

Chivalry died with the womans liberation movement !

Unlees your trying to get those panties off.

DavidB · 09-28-08, 12:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by MASKDMARVL

Chivalry died with the womans liberation movement !

Unlees your trying to get those panties off.

That's an interesting point. I find that many women want it both ways, so to speak. They want the "liberation" and they expect men to not act like men. It can't go both ways. If women want to be "liberated" then they can start paying diner, entertainment, etc.

It's a confused world, men, and we're getting the short end of the stick!

jfelbab · 09-28-08, 03:28

I guess I'm old school as I believe it is just common courtesy to treat others, men and women, with chivalry. If I enter a building I hold the door for anyone else who is entering with me. If I can help someone, I will. Not only does it improve all of us it makes for a better world. There is also the satisfaction I receive from helping others. I also appreciate it when someone else does the same for me. I just pass it forward and encourage everyone to do the same.

green dimnd · 09-28-08, 05:46

There's an old technique that I try to keep in mind, though I should try harder and more often. Think of the person you most respect in the world. Then imagine they're across the street wacthing you. Behave accordingly.

MASKDMARVL · 09-28-08, 07:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by jfelbab

I guess I'm old school as I believe it is just common courtesy to treat others, men and women, with chivalry. If I enter a building I hold the door for anyone else who is entering with me. If I can help someone, I will. Not only does it improve all of us it makes for a better world. There is also the satisfaction I receive from helping others. I also appreciate it when someone else does the same for me. I just pass it forward and encourage everyone to do the same.

You are just a good hearted soul. You feel gratification by giving in a world full of takers. My hats of to you. When you give, and its taken for granted. Used against you, how do you feel ? Im with you bro, but we are a vanishing breed.

Accumulator · 09-29-08, 09:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by jfelbab

I guess I'm old school as I believe it is just common courtesy to treat others, men and women, with chivalry...

Ah, took the words right out of my mouth

I will say that I sometimes temper my impulses in this regard (towards women) if I think that my intentions might be misinterpreted. I understand the wariness that some feel towards the "helpful stranger" who might harbor untoward motives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MASKDMARVL

When you give, and its taken for granted. Used against you, how do you feel ?

Eh..it just rolls off my back; the only thing I care about is that I did what I thought was right. I'll admit that *really* nasty responses (vulgar invectives) to simple things like holding a door will sometimes elicit a little quip about common courtesy not being gender-specific if I'm in the mood.

Heh heh, I've had women *severely* misinterpret my intentions (to the point of causing a real scene)

I usually compliment them on their vigilance and willingness to do what they consider necessary to ensure their safety.

These days I offer any assistance from a distance and at the first sign of reluctance on their part I drop it. An unsolicited "let me help you with that" *oughta* get a woman's defenses up IMO.

BoostedMopar · 10-02-08, 03:13

I am the guy that holds the door for a random person and next thing you know there is about 20 people rushing to get in before I close it. When I was about 10 or 11 I held the door for about 5 minutes while everyone walked right in not even looking at me.

DavidB · 10-02-08, 03:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoostedMopar

I am the guy that holds the door for a random person and next thing you know there is about 20 people rushing to get in before I close it. When I was about 10 or 11 I held the door for about 5 minutes while everyone walked right in not even looking at me.

Yeah, but it made you feel good anyway, right?

My thought on this is pay it forward and eventually it will come back.

Accumulator · 10-03-08, 09:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoostedMopar

I am the guy that holds the door for a random person and next thing you know there is about 20 people rushing to get in...

Heh heh, that's like letting somebody pull in front of you in traffic.

Gotta do the timing just right and sometimes somebody does get the door slammed right in their face.

BAKER · 10-03-08, 01:36

Chivilry is being polite to everyone, not just women, and giving my last chocolate cookie from my mom for waxing her car to my wife of 29 years. Plus I might get lucky.

JasonC8301 · 12-16-08, 02:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoostedMopar

I am the guy that holds the door for a random person and next thing you know there is about 20 people rushing to get in before I close it. When I was about 10 or 11 I held the door for about 5 minutes while everyone walked right in not even looking at me.

I have no problem saying "Your Welcome" in a professional tone to get their attention for not saying a simple "thank you."

In today's society I have seen a lot of apathy and no real concern for other people. A lot less "good" people out there, although they do still exist.

I went to Houlihan's for a company dinner and I have never been there before. Someone at work said it was a up scale place and to dress nice (I wear a lot of 5.11 clothing to work because well, I do inventory for a 5.11 warehouse, lol) so I put a suit and tie. Little did I know Houlihan's was just a little step above Applebee's. T-shirts, jeans, family type place. I knew I was going to be out of place the moment I start walking from my car to the place. I hold the door open for a family that rushes by and not even a thank you. I say your welcome and they give me that "***" look. I stand behind them while paying careful attention to their two children (who are sadly rather plump) to not step on my spit shined shoes. The hostess takes their name down and they go sit down in the waiting area. I walk up to her and say "Good Evening" and the face she gave me was one of surprise that someone actually acknowledged her. She quickly grabs a menu and seats me with my co-workers who are shocked that I actually wore a suit. I thank the hostess and she leaves. The instant after she leaves one of my co-workers was like omg, she is totally digging you. I was like whatever but she picks up on these things (I should get a girl as a wingman more often, lol) and stated she looked not to fond to be there and when she seated me it was the first time she seen her (the hostess) smile and sound excited to be there.

I guess being a nice guy pays off and chivalry for me is still alive and well although most people don't appreciate it.