Quote:
Originally Posted by nrengle
How do you guys deal with a lazy girlfriend / wife? IE One that doesn't clean up, leaves a mess everywhere, and does that "I'll do it later" routine? I'm at my wits end with my fiancee. She rather **** around on the internet then clean up her mess, wheather it be dirty dishes, laundry, her cats, whatever. I throw the stuff on the bed, she puts it on the floor, I put her clothes on top of the dryer after she's dried them 3 times instead of folding them, and they'll sit there for a week. I'm over it, and anytime I confront her about it, even in a calm voice she says I'm yelling at her. I don't even raise my voice (to prove a point one day I had a DB meter in the room, stayed the same DB average the whole time). We're getting married in 2 months, and quite honestly I don't think I want to be married to a slob if she keeps this up. What do I do? I'm out of ideas to reason with her. I've even gone so far as to place a sticky note on a newspaper when I left for tour with the date, and it was still there when I got home 2 months later. ***!?!?!?! Yet I'm in the wrong if I tell her that she needs to clean the place up. It's not much to ask to come back to a clean home after 2 months on the road with a bunch of dudes, on a bus with no space is it?
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When she says your yelling at her, it doesn't mean that you are being loud, it means the tone and the way you are saying it. Try to look at yourself in the mirror the next time you tell her about the problem your having, it might be something you do unintentionally.
Don't get me wrong both of you need to be resposible because a marriage is suppost to be forever. You know exactly what you have to do. It needs to be clear that you both need to work together. That being said, she has to do her part in cleaning up at least after herself. Try to make some sort of agreement that if she does that you will do something in exchange. That way it doesn't seem like you are completely blaming her.